Friday, 5 August 2011

问心无愧

is it cos boss had been promoted up & so encountering more stress? my fellow colleagues said tt it seemed like he's gg thru PMS like women. lol. but he seemed more grumpy recently. i oso concluded so cos comparing to d period when i do attachment (3 mths) & FYP (4 mths), think he only called everyone in to scold. ya. even me s a attachment & FYP student wasn't spared. however, since i started work in july, when it's not even 1 mth. jus this week, all of us were called in twice le.

well, all these while all actually not my prob except for d indirect case jus days ago. so it's quite sian tt i'm called in & got to face the music.

if tok bout punctuality, i can b d 1st to reach btw 8.15 to 8.40 depending on my staff bus & traffic. so when he emphasized tt he wanted all to b in latest by 10. it's not a prob for me. somemore i'm a staff. so i should noe when i need to b in. & i'm independant enough to do d lab work or anything by myself w/o assistant. so long s i'm told hw to do, i can jus do alone. anw, he scolded tt not jus once le. till i reminded d Ph.D student tt i follow to note cos of her timing.

den for d FYP case, d 1st one. I was thr duno 1st or 2nd day. end up being called in & got scolded for d waste bin tt was overfilling. er... not my fault right? n those who knew me sure know i wont do tt. right?

tt special case whr i said it is indirectly my fault was cos think prof see me in office often cos d reagent i need is depletin n new stock is awaiting delivery. but i never do nothing. i type out my protocol so i can jus 'ctrl+F' to find rather than flippin here & thr. i oso did purchasin, & awaiting boss confirmation on d item. & seeing d mail bout d risk management audit in sep, i decided to complete my personal risk assessment form which i'd been putting back. but i guess he couldn't see my screen so i guess too bad la. but anw, it's not this issue i wanna say.

it's cos, of d experiment which i did, actually, for each set of experiment, i use equal number of cells for each condition. but i never count d no of cells which i used. it's not cos i lazy but cos d graduate student said tt it doesn't matter so long as there r equal no for each & every condition for every batch. so i follow. how on earth do i noe tt it's really not appropiate since thr is such advice. end up 'ALL' was called in to prof office & he scolded till say tt we weren't serious, we jus come here to play & have fun & tt we should jus leave. yes. he said v directly n crudely. haiz. i can't say not totally my fault but i did check & i don ve experience like them to hypothesize project & protocols. i'm d kind, u give me proj, & protocols, i do & return u d results lor. if i so clever, i oso shoudl consider doing Ph.D.

he oso scolded bout keepin record of d protocol. i do have a written copy in d lab & also had typed out with hard copy in my office & in my CPU, thumbdrive, ext HDD & also my personal lappy. so for tt, felt quite sian again.

oh ya. if u notice, d 'all' above is cap. reason: prof left out a new guy who was thr for 2 days le. i don see y he had to be left out. in d 1st place, though he knew me for ~8yrs, when i was an attachment student n had come in on time, why did he need me to go in for the scolding. 2nd, when it was jus my 1st few days s a FYP student, y was i being called to scold bout d waste? & also punctuality? y wasn't d other FYP student being called in? & oso, tt time, thr is a new Ph.D student who was thr oso jus 1 or 2 day & he also asked her to go in & get scolded & be warned. so why did the new guy have privilege? jus cos he's a guy? jus cos he's d ONLY guy other than d prof himself? pian xin... anw, i don see why he shouldn't go in to listen sicne prof also wanna emphasize bout noting down protocols, etc. actually, all d more he should listen too.

well, forget bout tt. today, aft lunch, all was called in to prof office again. this time is really all. prof found out a microscope is down & seemed like down for a while & ppl noe but never report. 1st person prof ask is me. he pointed to me & ask firmly, angrily & seriously, 'J, do you know d microscope in d tissue culture rm is down?' me: shake head, 'no i don'. den he seemed not convinced & said tt we shouldn't lie & had to be frank. he then turn to d guy & ask. he oso didn't noe. he only 2nd day startin experiment lor. den he ask d Ph.D student & they knew. great... who is d culprit?

i was quite upset tt he didn't seemed convinced tt i didn't noe. er... if i noe, u think i wont try to solve meh? whr was i fr? wat exp do i ve? i was a lab tech before leh. i oso take care of eqpt & maintenance & liase for servicing. given protocol, i can try to rectify myself before callin engineer wor. do i need to keep quiet? & it's those who r guilty for all d scoldin tt dare not talk to boss so y i need to be afraid of? i even had my past record of purchasing & d name cards of as much as possible lor. jus tt it's bit outdated la. but i can check w my ex-colleague for contacts since we r under d same sch so vendor/engineer should b d same lor. if i got no record, i wont noe d estimated price of d freezer & if i had no experience, i wont noe whr to check d freezer information fr d freezer le lor. hello!!! can boss pls wake up?

& if i really so lazy, actually beginning of d week, it's my turn to clear waste & i cleared partially if not cos thr is not enough biohazard waste bag. den d next in d roster had alrdy change to her name on d whiteboard. so in a way, i can say i no need to tie up d waste & send down today. if i could clear at beginning of week, i only got 3 bag of waste, at most 4 but nw i got 6 lor.

if i'm tt lazy, i oso won't go & ask d new guy for mobile no. not cos i wanna get to noe him. but cos we need to update our emergency contact list in d lab & office. i even thought of re-typing cos i don ve soft copies fr previous but my colleague send me eventually. i oso updated d roster list so tt everybody will noe. & in d morning, i oso use d time to type d risk assessment lor. i even copied all risk assessment for d whole lab rather than individual & save a copy before deleting & editing into my own copy. if i don care bout d lab, i oso wont check w d 2 other new staffs (1 earlier than me & d new guy) if they did d risk assessment form yet since d audit is comin. i even send them d full template & not d one amended for my duty so tt they can jus do some minor changes only lor.

well, my workplace can b quite an enjoyable place w nice ppl ard except for d pay which i wish to get more, if not, i won't mind staying for long but den, seeing d boss gettin more grumpy & picky recently, i cant help but feel tt it might b a pushin factor tt would chase me out of thr. but it wont b anytime soon. if i can find a new place w gd pay & gd location & gd time, tt'll b most ripe time to leave. if not so long s 1 or more of those factors were in, i might jus go 1st b4 thinkin of next step. i shall give it till 2012. i don wanna rush nw & end up felt guilty cos actually boss is kind enough to take me in when i had no news fr all d jobs i applied for.

well, now, i can only say, time shall speak out for me. to show wat i can do under my boss now & den whr i shall proceed next. no pt getting sore bout anything so long as 问心无愧...