Tuesday, 12 March 2013

a long long post

It is actually almost 2 months since i last update again. Times felt jus too short s usual. But w d change of job, it seems even shorter. Unlike workin in research lab, though thr could ve many experiments concurrently tt lunch may seems difficult, there may b times for ownself when durin some incubation, etc. However tt may not b applicable for all working in d lab. Mayb cos i was jus a staff rather than a graduate student, so my ex-boss nvr push me to read scientific journal & to think alot for new ideas though thr may b at times. Nw, work is really work. No time to pause or relax. D only time would b lunch. Ya. Thr r times i m alone for lunch but i would choose not to eat & go back immediately cos tt would b my lunch break. If i m back in office, other ad hoc tasks can come, ppl may need to purchase things or i b ask to cx on certain things which may disrupt wat i had to do & wat i planna do. It s really a challenge but so far i m cool w it though i was told i face weird or funny situation which my colleague who was in charge of wat i m doin also nvr face b4. i m really takin it s a learnin opportunity.

I oso must remain my cool & use some thoughts to deal w certain ppl. Ppl which could b guess by many others. Lol. D only thing i don like is tt my precious time is wasted due to tt certain gp of taichi great grandmaster & grandmasters cos i put in effort to cx in details. & i m really afraid cos of tt, i would ve to rush my other tasks & end up w many mistakes which i m not surprise if it really happened some day.

Durin work, time is limited. Aft work time is oso limited. Cos i can spent hrs a day on travelling & back hm, will still need find time for chores, assist dear if he need for his studym & oso need to try go back at least every weekend to my parents' place & even in-laws too. so really still feel lack of slp s ever. Mayb worse cos i always couldnt open my eyes while dear drive me to work. But though tired, i will try to rush all d chores at 1 go so tt i can try to catch some rest ltr on.

Jus last sat, while dear's at work in d afternoon, i practically did all d chores before headingback to dine w my parents. Also cos sun got staff lunch at MBS. Was actually plannin wat ti do aft i got hm & i expect to get home by 3. Was plannin for a nap, den sew dear's pants & serve d net awhile & watch drama. In d end only reached hm at 5.30 & couldnt do much. At least the lunch was fun.

Anw this week is a week of feast. Sun buffet at MBS Todai restaurant,  today a colleague's farewell lunch. & think fri thr is another lunch fo dk wat. But this is oso a week of deadlines... & I m glad I bought back an email to read & drafted out my JD form last night. Or I think I m really behind time. But it will stilk b a no no to bring work hm unless necessary. So far able to manage to cope on time though I may reply mail late.

I m nw tryin to save my leaves too. Think will wipe out all accumulated leaves in mid june cos b gg Europe. 1st time to travel to d 'west'. Though I don shop & nvr go for branded stuff, heard fr many tt d bags thr r cheap. But still no time for me to try do some research. Jus tot of getting cos since all d way thr & somemore it b so much more ex in sg s always heard fr ppl. So b wasted if I don right. But of cos not anyhow soend la.

My parents b gg taiwan & hk durin similat period & my dad asked me to help jom check-in to d airplane via online while I m at work & I never do b4, & w no info, & w criteria tt don fit fr d online check-in FAQ page. Great. Wat a wonderful task & timing.

Actually, at work, I realized parents always seem to be too reliant on their kids esp for all tech savvy issue & etc. I really hope I can keep up w at least d major trend sp I can jus rely on myself only in future. Cos I do ve d feelin impatiency & grumpyness when my parents assumed I noe it all & should & must help them & they may even b unhappy when I dk. Like s though I don wanna help & jus give excuses.  It is really not a nice feeling of d 'kid' lo. & I hope tt isnt wat my dad felt again this time wgen I told him I dk & need him to cx details so tt may I can try better but definitely not durin work.

Thursday, 17 January 2013

changes

it'd been a really long while since i blog. months. b4 my weddin till nw mid jan of 2013. time flies. things changed.

mid of jan oso means 2012 was gone for 1/2 a mth le. & it oso means i been in a new job for 1/2 a mth le. alot of things ve changed within this 1-2 yr. & of cos for 2013 on, i shall strive to save up. m quite surprise tt though i had depleted most of my savins & earnin fr part time jobs & 1x bursary durin my uni, managed to actually help though not like 1/2 1/2 but at least managed to help in significant amt for d hse reno, furniture, electrical appliances, & oso weddin stuff. & we r totally loan free except d HDB loan la & dear's car's loan. nw tt all those were over, it's time to save up even for rainy days & mayb a honeymoon trip too.

anw, though i got a new job startin in 2013, i'm still stuck in d same place, same buildin whr i had been for d past few yrs despite diff roles. i'm back to confuse ppl again. haha. gotten dis job is really quite a blessin & gd fortune. towards d end of last yr, i got no time to job search but 1 day durin a briefin, bump to my dept DD & she asked once again on my contract duration then. it was d 2nd time tt she asked me & so i ask if thr is any position available & indeed thr is. i expressed my interest but at d same time worried hw to break d news to my boss (previous). but he not only was alright w it but asked me about d grade & encourage me to proceed. tt time, i alrdy passed him my weddin invite & i felt so bad cos i would leave like really soon aft my weddin break. last week at my new desk, my ex-boss saw me & he asked hw is my new job & some sort of if my new boss is ok. my colleague beside me heard tt & even till nw, she still said my ex-boss is v nice. ya. he's a nice guy. jus tt he is strict to his staff/student but cant blame him. he got to achieve his KPI & he got other roles s well. so i nvr blame him.

d reason y i took up dis job which is totally diff fr my degree is cos actually i don intend to stay in research for long. research depends on experiment. may not work at times & can b demoralizin. furthermore, i got no intention to further on for Ph.D & so unless i stayed s a PO forever if not i shall not expect too much changes in my pay or so. plus, d location is saturated ard west & south. all r so far fr hm. thus, i decided to swop to admin based job if i got d chance but though i got several part time b4, i guess is v hard to convince w/o pay cut or so cos all my part time r really short term. submitted several application but failed to get a response. so at least nw i get my fair chance to gain experience for future.

it's funny tt i decided & insisted tt i don wanna study anymore when ppl ask if i wanna pursue Ph.D & tt d degree is such a struggle for me but aft i cfm i will get dis job, i actually tot of mayb pursue a part time master or even a degree if thr is no higher grade. but tt is cos i was hopin to get a cert to further enhance my stand in such position or even higher if thr r better prospect. i guess i m really hopin i can save more also ba & also aimin to clear our housin loan in shorter time span & hopefully for a better future. anw, i shall c hw it goes. esp my savin plan for nw to further study oso need $. haha.

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

无能为力

sorry aunt. i noe u said b4 tt w/o ur generation of ppl, my generation of ppl nvr take initiative to meet up w our cousins. but aft dis incident, thr seems to b a v big gap btw ur daughter & son w us. i doubt i ve d ability to communicate w them & frankly speakin, i guess i choose not to than to makes my blood boils again.

太过分了!!!!

my blood boiled aft gettin a fxxxxxx rude reply fr a cousin. i m always tryin to b neutral & jus 1 ear in & d other out whenever my mum said tt she kan bu qi all of us. but aft d incident which she 不留面子for our aunt on a X'mas eve gatherin & her reply nw, think i cant b bother w her anymore.

X'mas eve, we always have gatherin & exchange gift. once, right in front of other & me, when she received a gift fr an aunt, she jus simply blurt out, '这礼物纸不是去年的吗?'. her younger bro stopped her & say how can she say like tt, & she replied, '根本都是吗。这明明是去年的。'so fr then, her present, i wont put in effort to buy.

my mum always say she come on CNY cos of angbao, & tt keep saying others gave her how much. & when my relatives were talkin ab my weddin date, she said tt mth she usually go holi, etc. but all i choose not to register.

however, d reply i got jus nw, is like tellin me she don ve d heart to come. her heart isn't w us. her parents divorce & she don wanna ve so much link w us. anw, i don care if she wanna come anot. if u don wanna come, jus say u go holi la. not like i will cx ur passport or so wat.

d whole episode happened in aug durin a gatherin, i asked my aunt aka her mum if she & her bro will come & to get their address & contact. however, my aunt cant cfm & don know their add. ok. nvm. nothing weird. cos my parents till nw oso cant write out my new add. so my aunt gave me their contacts.

knowin dis cousin, i choose to ask d bro 1st. d bro end up dk who i'm till i say i fr his mom's side & stay where. he den reply to ask me to check w his sis for his name & add cos he's workin. fine. i cx w her & she give me only 1 add which i noe is not whr d bro is stayin.

last week, aft my mum ask me to cfm w them their attendance & if need baby chair, etc. so once again, i sms them separately. i asked d bro 1st again. & he reply pretty quickly & said he may b workin & tt his dad & sis will go. thus, i asked hw i should address d invitation card to. he replied & said address to his dad but i don ve his dad's name & so i asked him again.

on d other hand, right aft i ask his attendance, i sms his sis to ask her too. & she replied tt she will be attendin w his bro's wife & baby & tt she's reply on his bro's behalf too & so his bro wont reply me. yet her bro alrdy relied me w diff ans. so i reply them separately, askin them to cfm & let me noe. she immediately reply to say tt their dad wont be attendin but thr is no news fr d bro.

aft like almost a week, there is no reply. so dis time, i sms them both tgt w 1 msg. sayin tt we will mail 2 cards to her & her bro & we will save 3 seats & 1 baby seat for them. But i would need them to discuss & cfm who will attend once cfm. i alrdy don care if lesser ppl will come. but y i need to noe who is attendin cos it's really impt. if their dad r comin, he wont wish to sit w my aunt. so we will need to swop my cousins fr another table with them so they will sit at diff table. we cant cfm tt only on tt day itself esp if all ppl alrdy come. it wont b nice to swop seats when ppl alrdy seated ma.

her reply:
'Shan Shan, as this is a happy occasion for you, I really do not want to say things too harsh, have to tell u, we have already informed who will be attending the wedding. So that will be the attendees. If possible please do not ask the same questions over and over again... Regards!'

hey, if you both give me a definite ans, do i have to ask again? ur bro nvr say ur dad not comin. he totally nvr reply my request for ur dad's name. so d ans is not clear. I also asked u previously if it's cfm tt it will b u & ur sis in law & baby but u oso nvr cfm. if u think i keep askin redundant qs, den in dis reply, u can oso jus say d attendees again so i wont ask. replyin like tt means wat?

dear asked me to reply her back say it's they who nvr cfm w us. bro say dad & sis comin. sis say dad not comin & tt she b comin w sis in law & baby. both ans r diff, & nvr reply a confirmation. but i guess i gonna listen to a friend, wait at least a day see if d bro reply. but i jus 咽不下这口气. i really wish to say back. i don care if she end up really not comin. i don 稀罕.

Thursday, 11 October 2012

Good fortune

I have a really nice boss despite d fact tt he is always chasin aft us for results. though i m in dis place for more than 9 yrs, undertakin diff roles, i m so blessed to meet nice ppl ard. ya. thr r few tt don accept me but those ppl aren't impt. most impt r those ppl tt recognise me & my effort & thus givin me so many opportunities all these yrs esp since i quit to go back to study.

i can say dis is a place whr i can call s another hm yet i noe in long run, i shouldn't b here forever even if diff roles. but it's a place whr i can learn n fr current situation, allowin me to progress towards whr i would prefer to be. it allows me to grow up & learn here but i guess ultimately i would ve to leave though no matter hw reluctant i may it.

well, i feel so much cos i guess i will miss stayin w my parents though thr can b times i don agreed upon certain behaviour, etc which made me really upset. i actually feel like huggin them, & no matter hw i thank them & even those tt help me along d way is nvr enough to really express hw i m really feelin right nw. frankly speakin, i do feel like cryin right nw.

i guess all d gd fortune i had accumulated durin all d tough struggle in d past for those SOKA performance & being a leader is still embracin me. I must try to accumulate more good fortune b4 wat i had accumulated become depleted or gone into deficit.

Sunday, 23 September 2012

wedding troubles

dis isnt jus all ab myself n my encounters but is wat i see fr others oso..

traditional chinese wedding will start off w d customary ceremony where groom come to pick d bride & d bride's jie mei will make it difficult for d groom n tt is wat we called s gate crashing. den d groom & bride will go to their home for tea ceremony before gg back to bride's side for tea beremony or even for outdoor shoot b4 returning. simply s it may sound but if got mamy relatives
den even if w/o outdoor shoot, may oso b v rush.

other prob can oso surface at d hotel or restaurant. like pen no ink, media cant play, laptop cant  connect to projector, mic quality poor, things not set, things forget bring. certain things r unavoidable, certain things r avoidable. yet thr still can have many other prob. like uncoorporative guests. guest who 自作主张, 自已为是 & assume can bring any no of ppl they wan despite ppl tekling them cant. but at least these r minority.

wedding is a once in a lifetime event. everybody w well state of mind will want their weddinv to b perfect. to b how they wish it would b. would participate n find watevet thry can. would find ideas.would b worry if anythibg would go wrong. yet today, now, i m at a most disorganise dinner at a really bad location or rather in a building tt ihas really bad structure design w confusing signs. d bride is fr laos so if she didnt care is undrrstandable cos she dk. but d groom, a fellow singaporean & he been to many dinner & b brothers for few times, yet he didnt care & leave all to hus coordinator n 4 bros to manage a rented ballroom arranged w 50 tables. emcees only come at 7pm n attempted rehearsal makin ppl blur b4 they stopped. d groom still wanna think of more ideas like popper when his bros r all shag out & tired.w last min role changes & additional of numerous tasks. w last min searching of all songs for march in, montages, etc. & his cocktail montage seems to b jus open d slideshow fr his laptop photo gallery w scenaries, other ppl, w table plan comin in when guest comin, w last min chsnges n shifting ppl fr 1 table to another, w certain tables where ppl r unknown where to sit & too msny to b named.

y i say d buildin is bad. lvl 1 no toilet. d toilet is deep inside d ballroom so w/o emtering d ballroom, there is no way to access d toilet. d card stated lvl 2 but they don wan ppl take lift up cos no space for recept. but i see ppl in wheelchair, w walkin sticks. d signage put is lvl 1 but there is only 1 restaurant thr. n there is another weddin stated at lvl 2. i came early to pass dear his shirt. i noe lvl 2 but blur when see lvl 1. i climb stairs up to see another function so i climb fown. not onlt i blur. ppl come take lift but saw lvl 1 sign n they wanna press lvl 1 in d lift. lift door openat lvl 2 they oso blur. ppl come uncertain of d chinese name n ask d waitress for d restaurant n they oso confuse n almost bring to wrong place. ppl oso commemt tt d toilet is v far. there is no seats at lvl 1 for ppl who came early. only got seats outside restaurant for restaurant.

d groom himself is like umsure of wat he wants n unsure of everything. florist close at 9 yet he wan to collect flowers aft. yet he wan bring his in laws to tour ard. book mpv oso book late. no car to chauffeur ppl ard fr laos like his in laws n so coordinator need to help him find driver but can last min chsnge plan. end up we only reach home at almost 11 ytd to iron dear clothes. for all these effort. is only worth angbao of 20+. haiz. y can there b such ppl ard???

Thursday, 13 September 2012

a sad news

dis mornin, once i log-in my FB & looked at my neighbourhood gp, saw a really shockin & sad news. a lady seemed to ve jumped down w her few mth old baby & both were dead aft.

aft followin d posts & their threads, found they jumped fr my blk. & those who can see clearly were fr my units at diff lvl. OMG!!! it's still unclear why this happened but they anticipated tt they fall fr a lvl above me but may not b fr d unit above. not sure if 1 of d residences anot. but still 1 lvl up is still s scary sia. so near.

anw, someone posted d wanbao's 1st pg. d baby is a gal & jus 6 mth old only. somemore, d lady were only married since mar last yr. so newly wed & d baby is so innocent. ppl oso say based on d paper, think they werent a residence & they fall fr d highest lvl (25). well, guess cos my blk is d tallest amg d other blk fr d same proj.

nw is still lunar 7th mth & dis kinda things happen. d last i heard of such news was fr d place i am stayin at nw. i wasn't sure if i should really b tt glad tt i wasn't thr seein what happened for both time. but fallin fr such height, even if i m thr, even if i can try renderin 1st aid, think oso hard. nw can only pray & chant for them.