我真的是问题‘小孩’吗？

我真的是问题‘小孩’吗？

2 weeks ago, after my dance training, talked to the senior as we were expected to keep whole day free for 2 of the weekends due to rehearsal for a performance that is on 29 Novemeber. Well, the two days are in additional to our usual Sunday training which I actually had planned to give it a miss so that I can study. Anyway, that is not the main point.

I was very touched that she is so worried about me. Most probably due to the fact that she had gone through and done what I had been doing now which is stretching myself to the limit to do the very best I can and giving me some advices.

As I was constantly worried about everything especially school works that I could dream that I am doing tutorial and even got the answer which I could not find elsewhere but that was quite a few weeks ago already but few days ago, that happened again. I figured out a point to add into the BS205 assignment when I was asleep and this senior was extremely worried about this as my brain is still working even when I am asleep.

She told me to sleep and rest during all the travelling in the bus or MRT, etc instead of struggling to stay awake or worst still study throughout the journey as I do not have enough rest as I could fall asleep at the wrong place and wrong time. She also adviced me to chant just before I went to bed to clear my brain from all the school works which is something I have not started doing and that explained why I am still doing assignment during sleep.

She actually thought of freezing my 'membership' till I graduate or something like that but I am a special case as I am a local undergraduate student and I still have another 2.5 +years of studies. Previous cases only need to be away for a year due to overseas studies. Thus, she was also not sure if it is feasible. I never thought of this way and did thought of leaving but I never tell her that as I 舍不得 but I know one day I still have to leave.

Anyway, I told her my concerns and worries and she said she was also like that and it would be difficult to get back up once broken apart... So she termed this as 问题‘小孩’due to the constant thinking and worrying.

She told me her experiences that she failed her papers in uni and had to retake and she only passed with a pass rather than a honor degree and like me, she was constantly worried about her grades, etc. Yet the salary and benefits for the job that she will be getting was much better than all her other uni friends. She told me to enjoy my student life rather than spend on worries, etc.
Today, during the HW102 tutorial (the module that cause the most damages), the tutor told told us not to be affected by whatever grade we all would get be it what we expected or not. He told us that he did badly for his uni . His average grade was a 'D' and could not qualified for a honor. Yet, somehow he managed to get his PhD and further on.

What he said was like wat my senior aka friend told me that day which made me reflect again on why I am constantly so stress-up. Well, actually, I am worst in the past. I guess I would have broken apart already but now, I am already letting things go easy but I guess it is still insufficient. I guess I need to learn to relax more so that 我不是问题‘小孩’.