'suay' to d max...

a word describe me nw... since sat (to be exact sun mornin)... esp for this mornin... d word is 'suay'... really damn unlucky to d core loh...

sat went to watch my 1st concert of my life w my 2 v close sec sch friends, ling & sze. nvr tell my parents i go whr cos i noe they will sure scold & nag for 1 actually b gg for another one on 29/8. tt one was supposed to b my 1st concert (b gg w uni friends)... but when sze asked me, i tot i can try gg w her to see see... & not b so 'sua ku'...

y i say i was unlucky... i noe my parents limits for me to go hm is s early s possible & they aren't happy bout me gg back aft 12... but i did b4, gg back aft movie, reachin hm at 12+... but tt day, at 12.40, my dad started to sms me... askin whr i m, etc etc. by d time i sian w replyin & i call him, i'm actually at my void deck. guess wat... he went to wait at d lift lobby thr. d moment my lift door opened, he started to scold liao. tt time was 1.05am. i told him i was w ling & sze & he gave me warnin. warnin nvr to go out till late again... i was quite mad s it was not possible esp when i got another concert on 29/8 but i kept quiet & go into d hse. cos since i not happy, my tone b v bad oso. it'll make things worst only.

anyway, d followin mornin, i actually got a sort of soka activity to attend but i decided not to go. cos if my dad dun see me ard at hm, ltr he scold again cos i'd been gg out quite frequently this holi... & i dare not sleep till late... & guess wat, they nvr quite tok to me. esp my mum. practically ignore me... when i told her not to wait for me & tt i'll b v late... wat's w her... esp when she's d one who sort of gave me green light over at BKK to go out w friends... i really angry then cos they always like say 1 thing nw & do d other way d next moment. so cant b trusted.. :( anyway, tt issue was over. aft my mum finally tok to me & noe whr i went lah. of course she scold & nag loh. but i nvr get any $$ fr them since i started work 6 yrs ago & started schoolin again 2 yrs ago... but they each like got push bout $300 to me b4... s if tt can last v long...

wed night, i oso kanna. s i nvr quite go out this week, & it's sch holi, i lost track of day, & date... & forget to help my dad go atm pay his credit card bill. wed night when he came back & ask, he scold again. i dunno y he ask tt day. he usually nvr bother... & when he noe i 4got, he scolded esp bout late payment & interest. told him it was late so i go followin day but he still not happy. had to tell him twice tt i go then to pay for him den he stopped. so fed up loh. think i like god meh. everythin oso rmbr. i'm a human being. & human being do makes mistakes & human beings do forget... though i'm an undergrads, but tt doesn't mean i v clever & noe everything oso lo... he ask me things like comp & i dunno he will oso angry... go out & nvr bring his atm card, he oso angry...

ytd, i went out again... it was alright la... but in d end, i forgot to on my phone into normal mode. so it was in silent mode till this mornin. & guess wat. i got like 45 missed calls fr my parents esp my dad who call & call non-stop... & d even 'suay' thing was, d home phone in my rm nvr ring... tt phone can condemn liao... either nvr ring at all or jus ring a while & will auto silent... oso even when u press listen when there is an incomin call, it may not work... so will have to run to find d other cordless phone to pick up d call. not sure if it's b'cos of d battery or d phone prob... d even 'suay' thing was tt ytd, aft my cousin play game on my tv, think my mum off all d switch even d phone switch... so cfm my phone wont ring loh... only realize jus a while ago... sianz... so even though my dad call hm & my phone, i cfm wont hear loh... summore i sleepin wor... mayb ltr i shall go see if can find d battery for d phone. if not den i guess i ve to buy a new set le... but ex loh... & i haven find a job... if really buyin 1, i must get 1 tt's v loud... current one, only my parents' rm one ring & quite soft...

my dad call me cos he 4get somethin & want me bring somewhere for him.. so he was hoppin mad... & made my mum came hm to get for hm. & he blasted my hp w calls. jus nw aft he got his stuffs fr my mum, he call me again. to scold loh... say my phone spoilt is it, y nvr pick up, ask me see hw many missed calls, said i only noe to sleep, i sleep till like dead, if i so wanna sleep, jus sleep thru d holi, etc etc... but i think i only once or twice sleep till 9+am. & this is d 2nd mth of my holi le leh... i usually wake up at 7+ or 8+ w aid of alarm... cos i only go to bed at average 2am... think he tot i got d luxury & will sleep till like noon... but i nvr. i woke up early to look at d classified, to look for jobs... & i go out not always for play & fun, got go job agencies, got go work few days... & i think i only like managed to successfully took v short afternoon nap like once or twice only... if i got d time, i sure will wanna sleep lah... think studyin so easy ah... i was physically & mentally drained loh + tt BKK trip is oso drained off my energy... i feel so 'yuan wang'. y they nvr ever let me explain... jus scold & scold & scold. cant they jus cool down a bit & listen to me... always 'bu fen qing hong zao bai' jus scold...

i got many things i wanna do this holi loh. play my piano oso & i oso only got chance to play once... wanna draw more but only draw like 2-3 pieces..., wanna read but i oso dun ve d luxury to sit down & read non-stop... which is not like me... i usually can finish a book in a day or 2... but nw, it's weeks & i'm not even halfway thru d book... yet to them, i holi means i v free...

I'M A HUMAN, I DO MAKE MISTAKES & FORGET, I NVR SLEEP TILL LATE (in fact, i still sleep less than 8 hrs), I'M NOT A PERSON WHO KNOW ALL, I NVR DO NOTHING & JUS SLEEP AT HM THIS HOLI...

I REALLY (x100, no, x1000, no no, x million, even x billion) DUN WANNA STAY HOME & I WANNA GO WORK... since i go out oso kanna scoldin, stay hm oso kanna scoldin, may s well go out & better still work, even customer service or even complaint hotline oso can... at least tt one will get paid... T.T

chances of steppin on their tail is so much higher when i stay hm. if i still cant find job, whr can i go? public lib dun open so early... so where else can i go? dun tell me i should go back sch lib...