Despite the fact the she had been fighting the illness for years. We were all kept in the dark. My dad's siblings also had no idea. Years back, we were told that she went overseas to study and never knew the actual reason. We also did not know she came back 2 to 3 years ago.
On the 2nd day in Malaysia, my dad received a SMS from the elder sister, Sally 姑姑, saying that she should let us know that her sister is dying. We were not in Singapore and there is nothing we can do. My dad could only SMS his siblings to inform them. Yet no one was free to visit her then.
According to my 大姑姑, she got chat with Sally 姑姑 and know that Lena 姑姑 could still chat and laugh and she wanted to visit her the following morning. But time did not allow that. My dad received SMS the following morning saying that she passed away early that morning. I was very upset when I heard the news that she passed away. We had no idea what had happened to her.
When we were back, it was very late so we did not went to the wake. We went the following day instead. My parents went in the afternoon while I stayed home to settle the photographs to be developed as I had 4 $20 developing vouchers left & would be expired the following day. In the evening, I went with them to the wake.
There, I got some ideas about what happened to her but not the whole picture. Just know she had a illness that she will be very weak and need to take steriod which got many bad side effects and in the end, she got cancer in her leg(s).
I only know what exactly happened to her after reading the newspaper articles on Saturday. She had been suffering from '红斑狼疮' for 10 years. Then cancer in her leg(s). Then fever and passed away.
I overheard from my parents that Lena 姑姑 supposed to have 4 to 6 months more to live but Sally 姑姑 was worried that her sister might leave her like their mother after having fever. The worst nightmare came for her leaving her alone in her family. Luckily Sally 姑姑 is married and seemed to be very closed with her husband's sister but having her mother leaving her a couple of years back (maybe less than 5 years - I can't remember) and now her sister. She must be heartbroken.
I could not went to the wake on weekends due to work as I could not find replacement but I went today for the service. Went there early to see if Sally 姑姑 needs any help but everything seemed to be settled. Her mother, sister and her had different religions. Even though Sally 姑姑 is a Buddhist, because of her sister, she don't mind going through all the procedure and she needed a total of 4 persons to cover the coffin with the white cloths so I helped her together with her husband and husband's sister.
After the service at the Church, went to Mandai Crematorium. After another short service, her coffin was pushed to be cremated. Seeing the coffin going deeper in, disappearing in view and as the door closed, I still could not believed that she was gone. I realized that it was not easy for me to accept the fact that one whom is dead is gone forever (at least in this lifetime, in this life-form) and will not smile or talk to you anymore. I always had this thoughts if the person is really dead or is just asleep and will wake up the next second.
Well, even though, it had been many many years since I last saw her, maybe I was pretty small then, I still feel very sad. With the songs played, the atmosphere, I can feel my eyes started to water but I swallowed them down. I can only pray in my heart that she will be happy wherever she is now and free from suffering. GOODBYE LENA 姑姑!
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