damn... i really really wanna curse & swear le lah...
neck not fully recover esp in mornin when i woke up for today & ytd. yet, jus nw, nose bit itchy & thr is a bit of nose bleed again... d last time it happened & d only 2 times it happened was last sem... but many many mths ok le leh...
WTH is gg on??? did d approachin tiger consumed all my 'gd health'??? can i even have a week of 'peace'? or at least a few days?
ytd mornin, oso had bit of gastric discomfort... gastric & stomach discomfort is v diff... was alrdy in campus. alrdy in office workin. i'd gastric med at hm but nvr brought it w me. cos i don really ve any issue w gastric. d med i got is to complement other stronger med like pain killer. luckily it got better by itself or i wld ve skipped d afternoon lab.
anw, d nose bleed was v minor. so minor tt parents oso nvr notice even though they were hm. it nvr flow like tap so i managed to go to d bathrm & try to stop d bleedin thr & to flush away d tissue w some blood stains. decided to monitor & see hw... esp since d last 2 times were mths ago. d 2nd time then was more scary cos it's like jus a mth apart... sighed...
nw i do ve bit headache. ya. headache again. but i not sure link or not... but like i said... i shall monitor & see hw. if not ok (touchwood), i shall go see doc tml?
tml b another long day... 7 hrs of lesson straight fr 10.30 to 5.30. alrdy bought a bread for lunch tml. ya. i gonna survive on bread again. mayb lack of proper 'meals'? but i got eat lunch even if i workin unless like thurs lah...
Wednesday, 10 February 2010
laptop cant detect hp... y???
something is weird w my hp. my laptop cant detect my hp aft i plug in w usb like usual. tried many times. tried b4 i go out for breakfast. tried aft. oso cant...
so i guess unless i solved d pro, i cant do report,etc in my hp le... cos i gotta retype if i cant transfer to my laptop...
i oso cant sent it for servicin. warranty over le lah... y always like tt.. when warranty over then pro come... sianz...
so i guess unless i solved d pro, i cant do report,etc in my hp le... cos i gotta retype if i cant transfer to my laptop...
i oso cant sent it for servicin. warranty over le lah... y always like tt.. when warranty over then pro come... sianz...
Tuesday, 9 February 2010
took a break...
today in general was much better than ytd...
since i alrdy did d online survey aft checkin out d software for a topic which a prof came out w, i decided to declare a break for myself.
actually not quite a break. usually i tue not workin but cos tml will ve discussion, decided to work dis mornin to do s much hr s possible. don worry. i noe hw to prioritize... if cant, i wont work full 10 hrs. like last wk. i only work 9 hrs. jus an hr short but i cant b bother.
aft prac today, went to JP to walk ard. actually gg to get d 'transparent' colored sticky tag to sort my notes into lectures for easy ref like i always do. however, i could not find in popular whr i usually get. they had a new packin w bigger tag or stick note pad which i don need. went harris oso cant find. end up found in another bookshop when i almost give up.
anw, i jus wanna take d opportunity to take a short break b4 gg back to face reality. tt's wat i would do once in a while to ve a change in environment & get a break since bout yr aft i work. jus impromptu decide go walk ard though i don quite shop (unlike most ladies...)
friends today ask me wat i wld get for him cos valentine's day comin & wat he got for me. told them we r not in need of anything & we rather go for practical stuffs. like for x'mas, i got him a computer mouse cos his was not workin well. & a mousepad tt can put picture in it. so he wld b rmbr everytime he used & it's something he wld use daily.
so this time, we bought for ea other a pair of levis signature jeans. something we wld use (wear). it doesn't matter wat gift i get. most impt is hw he treat me & my family & friends.
wat's d purpose of gettin a lavish gift & yet don treat me well. d gift at most show ppl & prob make ppl envy but ppl wont noe wat happen 'backstage'...
since i alrdy did d online survey aft checkin out d software for a topic which a prof came out w, i decided to declare a break for myself.
actually not quite a break. usually i tue not workin but cos tml will ve discussion, decided to work dis mornin to do s much hr s possible. don worry. i noe hw to prioritize... if cant, i wont work full 10 hrs. like last wk. i only work 9 hrs. jus an hr short but i cant b bother.
aft prac today, went to JP to walk ard. actually gg to get d 'transparent' colored sticky tag to sort my notes into lectures for easy ref like i always do. however, i could not find in popular whr i usually get. they had a new packin w bigger tag or stick note pad which i don need. went harris oso cant find. end up found in another bookshop when i almost give up.
anw, i jus wanna take d opportunity to take a short break b4 gg back to face reality. tt's wat i would do once in a while to ve a change in environment & get a break since bout yr aft i work. jus impromptu decide go walk ard though i don quite shop (unlike most ladies...)
friends today ask me wat i wld get for him cos valentine's day comin & wat he got for me. told them we r not in need of anything & we rather go for practical stuffs. like for x'mas, i got him a computer mouse cos his was not workin well. & a mousepad tt can put picture in it. so he wld b rmbr everytime he used & it's something he wld use daily.
so this time, we bought for ea other a pair of levis signature jeans. something we wld use (wear). it doesn't matter wat gift i get. most impt is hw he treat me & my family & friends.
wat's d purpose of gettin a lavish gift & yet don treat me well. d gift at most show ppl & prob make ppl envy but ppl wont noe wat happen 'backstage'...
Monday, 8 February 2010
is d prob lies in me?
while on way hm, think back on all d 'events', made me wonder if thr is a prob w me... m i d one doin weird things instead? things don seemed to be in tandem w wat gg on ard me... is thr a way to improve or avoid? wat else can i do?
oso i wonder if i had changed? changed much... i used to get v anxious over sch work, etc like assignments & always think & worry bout it (a typical virgo). but m i takin it too 'lightly'?
at times, i feel so but at times, i think i'm still d same old me. like today, prob cos i not in gd mood for jokes, while waitin for our samples durin incubation, i typed out today's material & method for a gp report in my hp while my friends were chattin & jokin ard. i jus don wanna delay & wanna get it over & done w but today was jus d 1st prac out of 6 or 7. jus like d elective tutorial presentation.
but at times, i feel like i not s worried s my friends bout d comin datelines. but i alrdy mark in my calendars.
anw, today wasn't really a gd day for me. & i had to drag my feet to get hm esp aft i was jus at d lrt stn near my blk even aft i noe my mum not at hm aft i looked up at my hse.
i oso ended up cookin d last pack of instant bee hoon to eat instead of cookin a proper 'meal'. lazy + not hungry + don feel like eatin but had no choice. i don wanna get in trouble w parents again.
actually cookin d instant bee hoon itself, i alrdy committed suicide. i noe parents wont happy but i cant b bother clearin d evidence. y bother? hide oso no use. at most i cont'd endin off my day badly loh... my day alrdy start off bad. hw bad can it go?
i'm really wishin time could pass & it would be aft exams & sch holi would come. i wanna break fr study, i wan a getaway. if can, away fr all d troubles. away fr reality. away fr sadness. i wanna rest & to relax. i wanna break free fr everythin. i wanna run to a 'deserted' place but hw possible w parents...
but i think i seriously need a break b4 i could really get really recharged to chiong & face everything again. it's jus feb & holi is still 3 mths away... so meanwhile, i can only hang in thr.
jus hope meanwhile, i can fgure out wat is gg on ard me & wat i can do to improve everythin.
oso i wonder if i had changed? changed much... i used to get v anxious over sch work, etc like assignments & always think & worry bout it (a typical virgo). but m i takin it too 'lightly'?
at times, i feel so but at times, i think i'm still d same old me. like today, prob cos i not in gd mood for jokes, while waitin for our samples durin incubation, i typed out today's material & method for a gp report in my hp while my friends were chattin & jokin ard. i jus don wanna delay & wanna get it over & done w but today was jus d 1st prac out of 6 or 7. jus like d elective tutorial presentation.
but at times, i feel like i not s worried s my friends bout d comin datelines. but i alrdy mark in my calendars.
anw, today wasn't really a gd day for me. & i had to drag my feet to get hm esp aft i was jus at d lrt stn near my blk even aft i noe my mum not at hm aft i looked up at my hse.
i oso ended up cookin d last pack of instant bee hoon to eat instead of cookin a proper 'meal'. lazy + not hungry + don feel like eatin but had no choice. i don wanna get in trouble w parents again.
actually cookin d instant bee hoon itself, i alrdy committed suicide. i noe parents wont happy but i cant b bother clearin d evidence. y bother? hide oso no use. at most i cont'd endin off my day badly loh... my day alrdy start off bad. hw bad can it go?
i'm really wishin time could pass & it would be aft exams & sch holi would come. i wanna break fr study, i wan a getaway. if can, away fr all d troubles. away fr reality. away fr sadness. i wanna rest & to relax. i wanna break free fr everythin. i wanna run to a 'deserted' place but hw possible w parents...
but i think i seriously need a break b4 i could really get really recharged to chiong & face everything again. it's jus feb & holi is still 3 mths away... so meanwhile, i can only hang in thr.
jus hope meanwhile, i can fgure out wat is gg on ard me & wat i can do to improve everythin.
damn...i feel like my burnin fire to persevere on was diminishin... d willpower was gettin weaker. i feel like givin up. i think i'm losin direction...
ppl always like schoolin cos of d long holi. but it can nvr really motivate me cos of d stuggle in study. is it worth???
higher edu doesn't mean earn much more $$. earn more $$ doesn't mean more happiness.
i really do envy little kids. their ignorant to d harsh reality. they need not worry (well, most kids la), they r oso curious & bold to try out new things. they will forget aft gettin scolded or after being cane, etc. & wat they enjoy is fun. all this were so ancient to me...
is tt y thr r ppl who choose to end their lives aft even like 20 odd yrs??? don worry... i wont go to tt extent... if i would, i would ve done so when i was young.
fr young, i alrdy experience wat my parents would do so nw... but i don ve d courage to end off my lives. i would only use d chance of gg shower to cry & vent out in d bathrm... but i ve to confess... i did attempt to w shampoo diluted to prob in concentration of unit, ppm. thus, it's not of lethal dose... i noe i was silly then but at least i nvr succeed.
but i duno y i work so hard nw. struggle in study & yet still workin oso... nw is only beginnin of feb. had to wait till may b4 gettin a long break fr sch... haiz...
anw, nw i can only lookin forward to 21/2...
ppl always like schoolin cos of d long holi. but it can nvr really motivate me cos of d stuggle in study. is it worth???
higher edu doesn't mean earn much more $$. earn more $$ doesn't mean more happiness.
i really do envy little kids. their ignorant to d harsh reality. they need not worry (well, most kids la), they r oso curious & bold to try out new things. they will forget aft gettin scolded or after being cane, etc. & wat they enjoy is fun. all this were so ancient to me...
is tt y thr r ppl who choose to end their lives aft even like 20 odd yrs??? don worry... i wont go to tt extent... if i would, i would ve done so when i was young.
fr young, i alrdy experience wat my parents would do so nw... but i don ve d courage to end off my lives. i would only use d chance of gg shower to cry & vent out in d bathrm... but i ve to confess... i did attempt to w shampoo diluted to prob in concentration of unit, ppm. thus, it's not of lethal dose... i noe i was silly then but at least i nvr succeed.
but i duno y i work so hard nw. struggle in study & yet still workin oso... nw is only beginnin of feb. had to wait till may b4 gettin a long break fr sch... haiz...
anw, nw i can only lookin forward to 21/2...
i hate 2010... i hate home...
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH................
i really feel 2010 is not a yr for me... if not sick, den here pain thr pain, or even stepped on parents tail... ytd dad, dis mornin, mum...
ytd slpt v late cos i update my blog to vent out my unhappiness... this mornin overslept. when i realized mum wake me, it was alrdy 6.19 am when i usually woke up before 6 am. she was unhappy. say i wanna slp jus slp & they go breakfast w/o me.
did she realized i need not wake up before 6 am actually? i can wake up before 7 am actually leh... of course, wakin early is in case i overslept. cos before 6.30 am, parents still at hm. i alrdy woke up early go breakfast w them le leh... sighed...
so i rush & got ready in 5 mins & s i was toppin up my water, she off all d lights. total darkness & i cant even tell if my bottle is full. yet s i rush to put my bottle in my rm, she can say, don rush. ltr fall. if she really feel tt way, would she off all d lights??? don 说一套, 做一套 can or not... so fake... i was v angry at tt time but i jus keep quiet.
she den said she told dad tt if i still wanna slp, i can slp while she tabao back for me. ya. like real. still unhappy when i nvr wake up... i really hate it... she think she is an actress ah? she wan me nominate her for 红星大奖 is it? always try show ppl hw gd she is. den unhappy to me aft tt... 2 headed snake...
early mornin, spoilt my mood. early mornin, within less than an hr alrdy show so many faces... i really hate being home when parents can anytime any moment had volcano eruption... T.T
i really feel 2010 is not a yr for me... if not sick, den here pain thr pain, or even stepped on parents tail... ytd dad, dis mornin, mum...
ytd slpt v late cos i update my blog to vent out my unhappiness... this mornin overslept. when i realized mum wake me, it was alrdy 6.19 am when i usually woke up before 6 am. she was unhappy. say i wanna slp jus slp & they go breakfast w/o me.
did she realized i need not wake up before 6 am actually? i can wake up before 7 am actually leh... of course, wakin early is in case i overslept. cos before 6.30 am, parents still at hm. i alrdy woke up early go breakfast w them le leh... sighed...
so i rush & got ready in 5 mins & s i was toppin up my water, she off all d lights. total darkness & i cant even tell if my bottle is full. yet s i rush to put my bottle in my rm, she can say, don rush. ltr fall. if she really feel tt way, would she off all d lights??? don 说一套, 做一套 can or not... so fake... i was v angry at tt time but i jus keep quiet.
she den said she told dad tt if i still wanna slp, i can slp while she tabao back for me. ya. like real. still unhappy when i nvr wake up... i really hate it... she think she is an actress ah? she wan me nominate her for 红星大奖 is it? always try show ppl hw gd she is. den unhappy to me aft tt... 2 headed snake...
early mornin, spoilt my mood. early mornin, within less than an hr alrdy show so many faces... i really hate being home when parents can anytime any moment had volcano eruption... T.T
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