damn...i feel like my burnin fire to persevere on was diminishin... d willpower was gettin weaker. i feel like givin up. i think i'm losin direction...

ppl always like schoolin cos of d long holi. but it can nvr really motivate me cos of d stuggle in study. is it worth???

higher edu doesn't mean earn much more $$. earn more $$ doesn't mean more happiness.

i really do envy little kids. their ignorant to d harsh reality. they need not worry (well, most kids la), they r oso curious & bold to try out new things. they will forget aft gettin scolded or after being cane, etc. & wat they enjoy is fun. all this were so ancient to me...

is tt y thr r ppl who choose to end their lives aft even like 20 odd yrs??? don worry... i wont go to tt extent... if i would, i would ve done so when i was young.

fr young, i alrdy experience wat my parents would do so nw... but i don ve d courage to end off my lives. i would only use d chance of gg shower to cry & vent out in d bathrm... but i ve to confess... i did attempt to w shampoo diluted to prob in concentration of unit, ppm. thus, it's not of lethal dose... i noe i was silly then but at least i nvr succeed.

but i duno y i work so hard nw. struggle in study & yet still workin oso... nw is only beginnin of feb. had to wait till may b4 gettin a long break fr sch... haiz...

anw, nw i can only lookin forward to 21/2...