dis mornin, got a surprised sms fr an ex-colleague fr d clinic i worked b4. i'd left more than a yr ago but she ask if i could help in nov. guess she wanna go holi but no one to replace.
bit tempted cos i now only got output, no input. but aft checkin my timetable, only got 2 day possible which means d amt earned cant last me even a mth. prob jus cover my hp bill w my transport or a mth of lunches if i eat cheap cheap lunch? but... i oso tempted to take it slow cos it's my last yr of study.
anw, dis is not d only temp job offer i got. i'd another 1 which is also not cfm yet. tt 1 will b a wkly basis but oso cant cover much per mth but at least it's most prob till d exam period. but... it'll b more xiong durin my sem period. been thru & understand it wont b easy.
well, if they ok w my timin, most prob i'll take up dis offer cos 1 last sem to work. final sem cfm cant cos it's FYP. if hor, nw, i was paid, i guess i would 100% not take up but at least nw, i'm not tied down w any form of contract or monetary issue.
all these offers actually give me a tint of hope to get a job despite my poor results but i would still work hard. at least i noe tt wherever i worked b4, they would offer me d chance to do temp if they need help. at least they think of me. i'm glad i nvr do my work anyhw last time or i would miss all these opportunities. but these job not related to wat i study.
like i said, i shall see & do watever i can get. cant b picky w my grades. & though i hate d timin of research, i actually grew to like it cos i can escape fr hm or mtg if i wanted to. at least i'm a free bird in tt sense so i don care wat job i would get even if i might end up in sch for another few more yrs or more.
today, d graduate student i helped asked me if i wanted research or wat other type of job, i got no ans cos in my mind, i don care already. she said mayb i can try askin d prof i'm under nw & work as a PO. she said a couple of time tt mayb IF prof asked me cont'd phd, would i do cos she said d prof don care bout grades. frankly speakin, i used to think i would not further any more but IF 1 day, there is such a rare chance, would i take? i guess, i would consider instead of a flat ans of 'no'. but i noe d chances r v v slim cos my grades r really poor. d prof's previous PO got 1st class honour wor yet don ve. so impossible for me too. lol.
well, i do regret tt i nvr take up d paramedic job last time. it's so much closer to wat my childhood ambition which was to b a nurse. i wanna help ppl, i'm inspired by nightingale but i oso nvr regret rejectin & workin s a lab tech. cos fr thr, ppl noe me & thus, all these while, given me ample opportunities to do temp job & gainin my work experiences.
to think bout it, i wont regret comin back to study. i may not gain tt much knowledge, i gain much more than wat d textbook had given me. i gain more friends, i gain more trust, i gain more experiences & though not v wide range but it's better than being stuck at d same position forever though i'm sort of stuck at d same place all these while.
& though i dislike being forced, etc nw in my religion, i oso nvr regret joinin d dance gp last time. it had allowed me to gain d confidence or i would not dare to stand in front of hundreds of ppl & be 2 of my friend's emcee on their weddin. & mayb i wont get to noe my dear oso. lol.
but i still hate it nw when they keep pressin me & i hate it. & d other thing is, trg hr been extendin & extendin. nw end at 2++ pm, actually can say 3 pm la & mind u, no lunch break or short teabreak. last sun, if end further, i think my gastric would give way le loh. 1 day, surely got gastric pain 1 loh. i not in sec sch whr i cant really tahan w/o eatin. think all these while, d gastric acid had been eatin into my stomach lining la. haiz... tt's y till nw, i nvr say i no longer workin on weekend. tired leh. at least i can use work s an excuse to go back 'earlier'. &, i'd strong strong feelin tt wont graduate in sep like past few yrs... tt means, gotta last till end of d yr? i dono... but i cant tahan d long hr yet don wish to have break oso cos tt means, will end even later & they wont need to bother try to end asap since everybody alrdy eaten. haiz... duno la. shall see hw & do or decide when times come.
Thursday, 12 August 2010
Tuesday, 10 August 2010
NDP
ytd had d 1st hand experience being at d NDP show... well, in general, enjoyed it... but thks to dear to make it happened...
every yr, i had been applyin & ballotin for d tix for myself & my parents for 4 tix. always nvr get it but i got it dis yr & got d call when i was in HK. lol... was happy when i heard tt but i end up worryin tt dear might work or might ve to b on standby. den would b super troublesome for him. but he swop w his friend for his standby shift. really sorry bout it but glad his friend is willin to help.
anw, told myself tt aft dis yr, i wont apply. mayb will apply for parents but i myself wont. had d experience once, enough. give others more chance to ballot. no need b so selfish.
my thoughts were further enhanced ytd. if dear was not thr, i wld really not enjoy thr cos of my parents esp mum... wanted d toot bag of a particular design yet none of us got it. den grumble hot & sunny.. grumble d clapper torchlight spoilt... etc etc... but i basically jus let all her grumbling seep thru fr my right ears to my left.
& luckily i not d one usin d nikon D3000. she kept buggin dad & pointin here & thr to ask him take pic. lol... so i could enjoy d show rather than takin pic...
but our seat location not gd. cant really see d planes flyin over & d finale fireworks. sad... d fireworks is my main focus. love it when d dark sky is lit but nvm. get to experience seein d whole show at thr. see d march-in. 1st time see tt. on screen always see d march out. & oso can experience hearin d life-firein fr 1 end to d other fr d GOH. on screen, can jus hear 1 sound & dono fr whr to whr.
durin d parade, saw a couple of ppl fainted. luckily thr were medics ard. reminded me of sec sch when i was in st john. either inside d parade ground or at d side jarga... prep stretcher, etc. erm... ya. by right transportation of casualty is by d guy but my sch guy wanna b more macho, refused to come. pref ncc, npcc... haiz... so i 'bao ga liao'... bo pian. pop v low oso, thus, i multi-tasker, 1st aid i/c, logistic i/c, public duty i/c, secretary...
anw, ytd, we went out earlier so tt got parkin. park at penisular den walked over but was early so walked at funan. so went to browse at d laptop while dear browse for his netbook. in d end, i suddenlyt tot tt hw come only got get tv den got netbook foc, y not laptop den sec later, dear showed me d promo... oopss... was a temptin offer but d netbook batt life v low but laptop spec, if i not wrong, still pretty gd.
not d best but shld b 1 of d top ba. cos nw d processor is i7 but mine is i5 while thr r others still those old old type. anw, i not someone who noe IT stuff v much. so i jus get wat i think or feel is gd. anw, it's within d amt i would fork out for a 13.3" notebook. jus tt, it's acer brand again. nvm... give d brand 1 more chance. since it's d 1 of d top leadin brand for d past 2 yrs or so. anw, i don ve much to go against it anw.
but i quite like it. so much flatter than my previous laptop & lighter by mayb 0.5kg+. jus tt don ve dvd-drive. nvm. i shall get an ext type. don need it often so y bother to get a build in type & carry day in day out. only add on to d weight. tt's oso y i choose to get d hdd tt is quite high. mine think is d highest so far. 640GB. so i can forgo my ext hdd. jus bring laptop will do. &... my batt life suppose to last 6-8 hr. i noe, eventually is lesser but ok lah. even if less oso cant b as less as my old one.
last nite, my old laptop seemed angry. while i copied cousins photos to d memory card, it partially hang. my usb mouse wont work. d copyin don move at d end... it's not d 1st time something weird happend. recently, it hang in a weird place. not window, not dos, not at d start-up thr so tt boost me to get a new replacement soon.
well, laptop settle, nw gotta settle mooncake. tt's one is another headache... i wan snow-skin w lotus paste & salted yolk... whr got...
every yr, i had been applyin & ballotin for d tix for myself & my parents for 4 tix. always nvr get it but i got it dis yr & got d call when i was in HK. lol... was happy when i heard tt but i end up worryin tt dear might work or might ve to b on standby. den would b super troublesome for him. but he swop w his friend for his standby shift. really sorry bout it but glad his friend is willin to help.
anw, told myself tt aft dis yr, i wont apply. mayb will apply for parents but i myself wont. had d experience once, enough. give others more chance to ballot. no need b so selfish.
my thoughts were further enhanced ytd. if dear was not thr, i wld really not enjoy thr cos of my parents esp mum... wanted d toot bag of a particular design yet none of us got it. den grumble hot & sunny.. grumble d clapper torchlight spoilt... etc etc... but i basically jus let all her grumbling seep thru fr my right ears to my left.
& luckily i not d one usin d nikon D3000. she kept buggin dad & pointin here & thr to ask him take pic. lol... so i could enjoy d show rather than takin pic...
but our seat location not gd. cant really see d planes flyin over & d finale fireworks. sad... d fireworks is my main focus. love it when d dark sky is lit but nvm. get to experience seein d whole show at thr. see d march-in. 1st time see tt. on screen always see d march out. & oso can experience hearin d life-firein fr 1 end to d other fr d GOH. on screen, can jus hear 1 sound & dono fr whr to whr.
durin d parade, saw a couple of ppl fainted. luckily thr were medics ard. reminded me of sec sch when i was in st john. either inside d parade ground or at d side jarga... prep stretcher, etc. erm... ya. by right transportation of casualty is by d guy but my sch guy wanna b more macho, refused to come. pref ncc, npcc... haiz... so i 'bao ga liao'... bo pian. pop v low oso, thus, i multi-tasker, 1st aid i/c, logistic i/c, public duty i/c, secretary...
anw, ytd, we went out earlier so tt got parkin. park at penisular den walked over but was early so walked at funan. so went to browse at d laptop while dear browse for his netbook. in d end, i suddenlyt tot tt hw come only got get tv den got netbook foc, y not laptop den sec later, dear showed me d promo... oopss... was a temptin offer but d netbook batt life v low but laptop spec, if i not wrong, still pretty gd.
not d best but shld b 1 of d top ba. cos nw d processor is i7 but mine is i5 while thr r others still those old old type. anw, i not someone who noe IT stuff v much. so i jus get wat i think or feel is gd. anw, it's within d amt i would fork out for a 13.3" notebook. jus tt, it's acer brand again. nvm... give d brand 1 more chance. since it's d 1 of d top leadin brand for d past 2 yrs or so. anw, i don ve much to go against it anw.
but i quite like it. so much flatter than my previous laptop & lighter by mayb 0.5kg+. jus tt don ve dvd-drive. nvm. i shall get an ext type. don need it often so y bother to get a build in type & carry day in day out. only add on to d weight. tt's oso y i choose to get d hdd tt is quite high. mine think is d highest so far. 640GB. so i can forgo my ext hdd. jus bring laptop will do. &... my batt life suppose to last 6-8 hr. i noe, eventually is lesser but ok lah. even if less oso cant b as less as my old one.
last nite, my old laptop seemed angry. while i copied cousins photos to d memory card, it partially hang. my usb mouse wont work. d copyin don move at d end... it's not d 1st time something weird happend. recently, it hang in a weird place. not window, not dos, not at d start-up thr so tt boost me to get a new replacement soon.
well, laptop settle, nw gotta settle mooncake. tt's one is another headache... i wan snow-skin w lotus paste & salted yolk... whr got...
Saturday, 7 August 2010
unusal encounter
today had lunch at dear's place & aft tt call cab go back sch s he too late to send me back & d cab uncle tok to me bout life... wat he said made me believed tt he's a buddhist cos some of d things v similar to wat i noe.
anw, today, i think i shldn't ve gone to sch. shld ve brought my bag along den go meet my friend since she finished work so much earlier but well, i shldn't mia so much la. so i spend afternoon lookin at d mooncake promo. only see d % of discount leh. only found 1 or 2 w d pricin & d type of mooncake. i lookin for norm snowskinned mooncake, mayb d lotus paste w yolks or durain type. anyone noe whr got??? & best if got promo of early bird + further discount w citibank or uob card. other cards mayb still can.
well, when leavin, was slightly earlier & wonder if take public transport or staff bus. end up takin public bus & thr r 2 aunties tryin to act blur & slowly move fr behind me right to d front esp d 1 of d auntie. d auntie in front of me cant tahan seein & started tokin to me. lol... for me, i don care. anw, jus let me get on d bus will do.
den, while transferrin mrt fr je towards cck, s usual, ppl rush in den got an uncle (A), prob in his 60ies, told his friend when his friend (B) asked if A wanted to sit. A said tt he could still stand so he'll stand & leave d seats to those who cant. i almost laugh cos thr r many other ppl much younger than tt uncle & they rushed in for d seats & sat thr. it's pretty sacarstic but it's really true. y these ppl cant realized. anw, nobody gave up d seats though d uncle alrdy said like tt. sad... jus sad...
despite all these unusal encounter, met my friend for dinner den last min decide watch movie. initially wanna watch 'despicable me' but seats left was pretty too front. end up watchin 'salt' which is about d main actress who is called salt. she was a spy or mayb i shld say spy of d spy & thus made d story complicated & in d end, my friend got confused w who is d gd guy & who is d bad. guess, i'm well-trained to watch such kind of show. followed dad & dear wor. actually, any genre oso can la but i too disappointed w horror. anw, d show didn't end off well. we all expected more whr salt will kill & destroy all evils but it just simply ended thr. so will thr b a 'salt 2'? but d name v d weird loh. salt is a food seasonin yet was a person's name so used s an action movie title like no kick loh... mayb i expect too much & most movies have weak endin anw... shld ve gotten used to it by nw...
anw, today, i think i shldn't ve gone to sch. shld ve brought my bag along den go meet my friend since she finished work so much earlier but well, i shldn't mia so much la. so i spend afternoon lookin at d mooncake promo. only see d % of discount leh. only found 1 or 2 w d pricin & d type of mooncake. i lookin for norm snowskinned mooncake, mayb d lotus paste w yolks or durain type. anyone noe whr got??? & best if got promo of early bird + further discount w citibank or uob card. other cards mayb still can.
well, when leavin, was slightly earlier & wonder if take public transport or staff bus. end up takin public bus & thr r 2 aunties tryin to act blur & slowly move fr behind me right to d front esp d 1 of d auntie. d auntie in front of me cant tahan seein & started tokin to me. lol... for me, i don care. anw, jus let me get on d bus will do.
den, while transferrin mrt fr je towards cck, s usual, ppl rush in den got an uncle (A), prob in his 60ies, told his friend when his friend (B) asked if A wanted to sit. A said tt he could still stand so he'll stand & leave d seats to those who cant. i almost laugh cos thr r many other ppl much younger than tt uncle & they rushed in for d seats & sat thr. it's pretty sacarstic but it's really true. y these ppl cant realized. anw, nobody gave up d seats though d uncle alrdy said like tt. sad... jus sad...
despite all these unusal encounter, met my friend for dinner den last min decide watch movie. initially wanna watch 'despicable me' but seats left was pretty too front. end up watchin 'salt' which is about d main actress who is called salt. she was a spy or mayb i shld say spy of d spy & thus made d story complicated & in d end, my friend got confused w who is d gd guy & who is d bad. guess, i'm well-trained to watch such kind of show. followed dad & dear wor. actually, any genre oso can la but i too disappointed w horror. anw, d show didn't end off well. we all expected more whr salt will kill & destroy all evils but it just simply ended thr. so will thr b a 'salt 2'? but d name v d weird loh. salt is a food seasonin yet was a person's name so used s an action movie title like no kick loh... mayb i expect too much & most movies have weak endin anw... shld ve gotten used to it by nw...
Friday, 6 August 2010
netbook or notebook...
haiz... i still cant decide... a norm notebook (13" or 14") w decent spec & price or a netbook (10") ... but d netbook performance wont b s great s d notebook... den... come w another option, to get a 12" notebook but realize d processor seemed slower than netbook but comes w better os...
anw, i wont go beyond 600 for netbook w ext dvd writer & wont go beyond 900 for 12" w ext dvd writer & max 1.4-1.5k for a decent notebook w dvd writer. any advice?
i would prefer a more portable one like netbook or 12" cos in case in future do fyp & no comp or wat, easier to bring. so much lighter & compact. anw, d dvd writer only need once a while to burn photos, notes, etc... how how?
anw, i wont go beyond 600 for netbook w ext dvd writer & wont go beyond 900 for 12" w ext dvd writer & max 1.4-1.5k for a decent notebook w dvd writer. any advice?
i would prefer a more portable one like netbook or 12" cos in case in future do fyp & no comp or wat, easier to bring. so much lighter & compact. anw, d dvd writer only need once a while to burn photos, notes, etc... how how?
Thursday, 5 August 2010
dumb
oh ya... jus nw feel so dumb... when i go meet my friend, went to d washrm 1st b4 searchin for her in d lib. thr is small meander into d washrm which i forgot & when i walked out, thr was a mirror facin behind & at d angle i was at, i cant see myself & so i tot it was a straight path. almost hit it but realized tt something was not right & happened to see d right path. otherwise i guess i would ve slam myself into d mirror... & thr were other ppl in d washrm. if i really slam in, wld feel really paiseh loh...
anw, i love d nail polish colour which my friend gave me. it's a nice, coolin colour but not sure hw it would suit me. not all colour would look nice aft applyin. tt's y i recently had been sticking to my brown colour when i go for dinners... nvm... if got d time will try apply. & if i not tt tired la. lol
anw, i love d nail polish colour which my friend gave me. it's a nice, coolin colour but not sure hw it would suit me. not all colour would look nice aft applyin. tt's y i recently had been sticking to my brown colour when i go for dinners... nvm... if got d time will try apply. & if i not tt tired la. lol
Wednesday, 4 August 2010
1st time to my friend's hse aft 14 yrs
wow... aft knowing my friend for 14 yrs... 1st time go her place... was last min somemore & luckily i could make it...
today, left earlier & planna develop d photos which were so back-dated. owe my grandma & mum & relatives for v long. since today left early go develop.
in d end, when i reach jp, received a sms fr my friend askin if i free for dinner. well, d only thing i wanna do is develop photo so wont b tt late & i agreed. but got delay cos d ppl seemed to have prob developin d S8R photos.
met my friend & we went for dinner at sakae sushi den planna walk to search for some accessory for her bag but her leg blister & so we took bus back for her changed shoes. she tot i went her hse b4 but my impression is nvr. when i go up, i was v sure i nvr go b4. realized her hse oso got squarish balcony. d 2nd squarish balcony which i saw.
at her hse, she gave me a pair of ear-ring, a bottle of nail-polish & a blouse & a drawer to keep accessories. i was like gg thr to loot things back. lol... mum suspected tt & seemed not happy. they always don like me go ppl's hse so i lied to say she went back & bring out all... haiz... tt was y i nvr went my friend's hse b4 aft knowin her for 14 yrs.
anw, aft she changed to her slippers, we went mac for sundae ice cream. den wanna go guardian buy plaster but was closed then she walked w me back so we can chat longer & ended up sittin at d playground near my hse & cont'd chat b4 we separate.
it was a nice meet up esp when i'm all alone. i'm glad i could make it & glad tt i nvr let myself being tied down w my mum's 'cookin'. & so coincidentally, dear on 24 hr so cant meet me oso & so i'm not a lost & lonely soul, at least for today. hope everytime can be so coincident too... but... i noe it's not so easy to be so smooth...
today, left earlier & planna develop d photos which were so back-dated. owe my grandma & mum & relatives for v long. since today left early go develop.
in d end, when i reach jp, received a sms fr my friend askin if i free for dinner. well, d only thing i wanna do is develop photo so wont b tt late & i agreed. but got delay cos d ppl seemed to have prob developin d S8R photos.
met my friend & we went for dinner at sakae sushi den planna walk to search for some accessory for her bag but her leg blister & so we took bus back for her changed shoes. she tot i went her hse b4 but my impression is nvr. when i go up, i was v sure i nvr go b4. realized her hse oso got squarish balcony. d 2nd squarish balcony which i saw.
at her hse, she gave me a pair of ear-ring, a bottle of nail-polish & a blouse & a drawer to keep accessories. i was like gg thr to loot things back. lol... mum suspected tt & seemed not happy. they always don like me go ppl's hse so i lied to say she went back & bring out all... haiz... tt was y i nvr went my friend's hse b4 aft knowin her for 14 yrs.
anw, aft she changed to her slippers, we went mac for sundae ice cream. den wanna go guardian buy plaster but was closed then she walked w me back so we can chat longer & ended up sittin at d playground near my hse & cont'd chat b4 we separate.
it was a nice meet up esp when i'm all alone. i'm glad i could make it & glad tt i nvr let myself being tied down w my mum's 'cookin'. & so coincidentally, dear on 24 hr so cant meet me oso & so i'm not a lost & lonely soul, at least for today. hope everytime can be so coincident too... but... i noe it's not so easy to be so smooth...
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
tired
ytd, didn't go sch so didn't noe d condition of d yog blockage. mornin, heard it was alright. but as i worked, i forget about d yog thing & thus, left only 1 entrance & exit. & so if finish work at office hr, best take d staff bus back.
almost hit wrong timin, or might end up caught 'jam' somewhr. quickly rush off & managed b last to get on d single-decker 179 out of sch & seein d staff buses started to crawl up d slope. so nw, either i shld take d staff bus or go off earlier or later. sianz...
if i go hm, i wld not wish to go back so fast & yet don wanna loiter in sch too long oso lah. but... no other better option loh. unless meet friend or dear. if so, i don mind gg off earlier but experiment usually don end too early esp if those need to incubate o/n. those by right shld not started too early & usually it's a whole series of experiment & then d timin will sort of hit jus nice. but not jus nice nw cos of d single exit via d pioneer rd north.
dis is really stupid loh. & furthermore, i only saw email on d internal shuttle bus, pioneer shuttle bus & 179 bus route. wat out whr r d rd blockage & r thr any time schedule?
dear jus nw drove me back to see whr he could take to go in & i saw tt thr seemed to be a rd sign saying bout no entry fr 15 aug but on rd side & inside movin car so cant finish readin. so i wonder if tt road which i told dear would be affected also. if so, den whr can i meet him?
i really find dis yog security very crazy. think ppl can only take in bomb or sharp item? inside can oso have sharp item, inside oso got chemicals, potential of explosion or causing fire, etc. so... prevent fr outside so wat. made everybody so mafan. & yet gotta last for d whole month. -.-" but anw, better than me stayin hm.
i'm tired. really tired. ytd dear came & managed to take a nap when he did... but still not enough. today, was asked when i usually sleep & they seemed to b amused tt i not tired. well, deep inside i'm alrdy at d max. i can jus sit thr & doze off. i can even type & doze off. but wat to do? i slp at hm oso got phobia. scare to sleep late alone. scare to take nap. have to do backup plan b4 i can take a nap which i cant sleep soundly. tired till keep gettin headache jus tt i'm avoidin panadol reliance. basically at hm, cant really do wat i wanna do. i miss my a'famosa trip whr i can ignore everything. d freedom thr, d air was so light...
jus nw at dear's hse, tired till i can ignore my growlin stomach. & wished i could jus sleep but it's not my hse & weird to sleep thr cos i feel bad when his mom prep dinner & yet i slp. these few days, i'd been going to bed earlier. earlier than my usual & yet still feel not enough slp. hw to cont like this if sch reopen?
& i might ve another temp to do too. if they ok w d timin, i wld work & earn extra pocket money. money tt can probably b use for more short getaway trips. but i wld not mind if i got less money. mayb i could end up dozin in my 2nd hm, d library. shall see hw it goes. but i really badly need to catch back my sleep b4 sch reopen at d end of d month.
& i really hope i can graduate in sep for my dance like for d past graduates. i need d rest & not more activities. & so i hope i wont get bugged more or i wld mia one loh. i hate when ppl force me. i'll repell more. & d funny thing is tt they said they worry me cos i tired & too many things on hand & yet want put me more. haiz...
when can i really get d sleep i need. made me even tot of wantin to be attach overseas or to further my studies overseas. cos stayin hm only bring me bad memories & stress & i cant rest. mayb stayin away awhile might do gd for me. but d chances is almost 0%. but i cant always get d headache & have to find excuse to nap while laid books, etc in front of me.
almost hit wrong timin, or might end up caught 'jam' somewhr. quickly rush off & managed b last to get on d single-decker 179 out of sch & seein d staff buses started to crawl up d slope. so nw, either i shld take d staff bus or go off earlier or later. sianz...
if i go hm, i wld not wish to go back so fast & yet don wanna loiter in sch too long oso lah. but... no other better option loh. unless meet friend or dear. if so, i don mind gg off earlier but experiment usually don end too early esp if those need to incubate o/n. those by right shld not started too early & usually it's a whole series of experiment & then d timin will sort of hit jus nice. but not jus nice nw cos of d single exit via d pioneer rd north.
dis is really stupid loh. & furthermore, i only saw email on d internal shuttle bus, pioneer shuttle bus & 179 bus route. wat out whr r d rd blockage & r thr any time schedule?
dear jus nw drove me back to see whr he could take to go in & i saw tt thr seemed to be a rd sign saying bout no entry fr 15 aug but on rd side & inside movin car so cant finish readin. so i wonder if tt road which i told dear would be affected also. if so, den whr can i meet him?
i really find dis yog security very crazy. think ppl can only take in bomb or sharp item? inside can oso have sharp item, inside oso got chemicals, potential of explosion or causing fire, etc. so... prevent fr outside so wat. made everybody so mafan. & yet gotta last for d whole month. -.-" but anw, better than me stayin hm.
i'm tired. really tired. ytd dear came & managed to take a nap when he did... but still not enough. today, was asked when i usually sleep & they seemed to b amused tt i not tired. well, deep inside i'm alrdy at d max. i can jus sit thr & doze off. i can even type & doze off. but wat to do? i slp at hm oso got phobia. scare to sleep late alone. scare to take nap. have to do backup plan b4 i can take a nap which i cant sleep soundly. tired till keep gettin headache jus tt i'm avoidin panadol reliance. basically at hm, cant really do wat i wanna do. i miss my a'famosa trip whr i can ignore everything. d freedom thr, d air was so light...
jus nw at dear's hse, tired till i can ignore my growlin stomach. & wished i could jus sleep but it's not my hse & weird to sleep thr cos i feel bad when his mom prep dinner & yet i slp. these few days, i'd been going to bed earlier. earlier than my usual & yet still feel not enough slp. hw to cont like this if sch reopen?
& i might ve another temp to do too. if they ok w d timin, i wld work & earn extra pocket money. money tt can probably b use for more short getaway trips. but i wld not mind if i got less money. mayb i could end up dozin in my 2nd hm, d library. shall see hw it goes. but i really badly need to catch back my sleep b4 sch reopen at d end of d month.
& i really hope i can graduate in sep for my dance like for d past graduates. i need d rest & not more activities. & so i hope i wont get bugged more or i wld mia one loh. i hate when ppl force me. i'll repell more. & d funny thing is tt they said they worry me cos i tired & too many things on hand & yet want put me more. haiz...
when can i really get d sleep i need. made me even tot of wantin to be attach overseas or to further my studies overseas. cos stayin hm only bring me bad memories & stress & i cant rest. mayb stayin away awhile might do gd for me. but d chances is almost 0%. but i cant always get d headache & have to find excuse to nap while laid books, etc in front of me.
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