regrets?

dis mornin, got a surprised sms fr an ex-colleague fr d clinic i worked b4. i'd left more than a yr ago but she ask if i could help in nov. guess she wanna go holi but no one to replace.

bit tempted cos i now only got output, no input. but aft checkin my timetable, only got 2 day possible which means d amt earned cant last me even a mth. prob jus cover my hp bill w my transport or a mth of lunches if i eat cheap cheap lunch? but... i oso tempted to take it slow cos it's my last yr of study.

anw, dis is not d only temp job offer i got. i'd another 1 which is also not cfm yet. tt 1 will b a wkly basis but oso cant cover much per mth but at least it's most prob till d exam period. but... it'll b more xiong durin my sem period. been thru & understand it wont b easy.

well, if they ok w my timin, most prob i'll take up dis offer cos 1 last sem to work. final sem cfm cant cos it's FYP. if hor, nw, i was paid, i guess i would 100% not take up but at least nw, i'm not tied down w any form of contract or monetary issue.

all these offers actually give me a tint of hope to get a job despite my poor results but i would still work hard. at least i noe tt wherever i worked b4, they would offer me d chance to do temp if they need help. at least they think of me. i'm glad i nvr do my work anyhw last time or i would miss all these opportunities. but these job not related to wat i study.

like i said, i shall see & do watever i can get. cant b picky w my grades. & though i hate d timin of research, i actually grew to like it cos i can escape fr hm or mtg if i wanted to. at least i'm a free bird in tt sense so i don care wat job i would get even if i might end up in sch for another few more yrs or more.

today, d graduate student i helped asked me if i wanted research or wat other type of job, i got no ans cos in my mind, i don care already. she said mayb i can try askin d prof i'm under nw & work as a PO. she said a couple of time tt mayb IF prof asked me cont'd phd, would i do cos she said d prof don care bout grades. frankly speakin, i used to think i would not further any more but IF 1 day, there is such a rare chance, would i take? i guess, i would consider instead of a flat ans of 'no'. but i noe d chances r v v slim cos my grades r really poor. d prof's previous PO got 1st class honour wor yet don ve. so impossible for me too. lol.

well, i do regret tt i nvr take up d paramedic job last time. it's so much closer to wat my childhood ambition which was to b a nurse. i wanna help ppl, i'm inspired by nightingale but i oso nvr regret rejectin & workin s a lab tech. cos fr thr, ppl noe me & thus, all these while, given me ample opportunities to do temp job & gainin my work experiences.

to think bout it, i wont regret comin back to study. i may not gain tt much knowledge, i gain much more than wat d textbook had given me. i gain more friends, i gain more trust, i gain more experiences & though not v wide range but it's better than being stuck at d same position forever though i'm sort of stuck at d same place all these while.

& though i dislike being forced, etc nw in my religion, i oso nvr regret joinin d dance gp last time. it had allowed me to gain d confidence or i would not dare to stand in front of hundreds of ppl & be 2 of my friend's emcee on their weddin. & mayb i wont get to noe my dear oso. lol.

but i still hate it nw when they keep pressin me & i hate it. & d other thing is, trg hr been extendin & extendin. nw end at 2++ pm, actually can say 3 pm la & mind u, no lunch break or short teabreak. last sun, if end further, i think my gastric would give way le loh. 1 day, surely got gastric pain 1 loh. i not in sec sch whr i cant really tahan w/o eatin. think all these while, d gastric acid had been eatin into my stomach lining la. haiz... tt's y till nw, i nvr say i no longer workin on weekend. tired leh. at least i can use work s an excuse to go back 'earlier'. &, i'd strong strong feelin tt wont graduate in sep like past few yrs... tt means, gotta last till end of d yr? i dono... but i cant tahan d long hr yet don wish to have break oso cos tt means, will end even later & they wont need to bother try to end asap since everybody alrdy eaten. haiz... duno la. shall see hw & do or decide when times come.