dad's unwell

last night, got a scare fr dad. wish to shout for mum but worried she freak out, worried too much & cry but i oso scare & worried bout him & if i have sufficient strength to hold him. if dear, ard, i would call to him.

anw, dad had fever on & off since sun. seen doc on sun & mc on mon. tue went to work den wed, which was ytd, he went to see doc again & he intended to go to work today.

aft dinner, dad laid in livin rm watchin tv den went to sleep at 9+ but gotta wake up to take med at 11+. mum waited to wake him up while i'm d backup alarm clock.

at 11.30pm, dad woke up b4 i go wake him & min aft he reach d kitchen, heard something dropped. worried tt he fainted like yrs ago, i go out but saw mum still sit on her bed in her rm but i still went to d kitchen.

found a container in front of d bathrm while dad still further in. so i tot he was alright. but...

saw tt he's weird. his leg was bendin & straighten (movin up & down) while he had his arm straightened & supportin his body. his body also tense & lean against the concrete cabinet/table (watever u call tt la) beside d basin. & he kept repeatin d movement & sometimes stayed in d bended position for longer time & his facial expression seemed to be in tension. but his eyes was starin into space. his eyes were also very red, prob because he jus woke up fr sleep but d whole expression was really scary. & he don talk or react to my questions

at tt point, i kept tryin to support him but he's much bigger size than i'm. wanted to get chair for him but scare he fainted though i noe he should not sit on chair oso or he may faint & fall fr d chair. wanted to shout to mum for another support & extra hand but scare she worried more see my dad reaction & expression.

when finally dad slowly release 1 hand to take his med, supportin w my body & 1 hand, i used d other hand to pour water for him to take his med. & den he started to move & said he was feeling dizzy. so i supported him back to his rm. it was only den tt mum noe he's dizzy but she didn't noe hw scarely it looks earlier on.

even till nw, i'm still scare. yes, i may be scare of them & they give me phobia, they give me more stress, they made me scare of being at hm but they r still my parents & i wont want anything to happen to them. seeing them like tt, i'll oso b scare. scare of losin them, scare something bad happened.

dad's expression & reaction was so weird tt i was scare if something bad was happening inside. if he eventually nvr ans me back or do anything else, i would not hesitate to call for an ambulance. but i'm still scare. mum would sure breakdown, & i'm their only support. yet i got no other support. hw i wish i could call dear but he had a long day & had turn in alrdy. & so i'm all alone but i can only act brave, act strong, to be d support at hm. even till nw, i can still feel d shiver & wish to cry out. it was a nightmare, a terrible experience.