Bookmark from friend and made up a big decision

Today, struggled to keep awake for the early morning BS202 Lecture. Managed to be awake but for the BS203 Lecture that followed, I was mostly knocked out for the 1st hour. The sianz thing was what I copied when I was awake just before the break was useless. It was because the lecturer said the facts wrongly. For the past 2 lectures, such cases happened too. Or he would said he was not so sure, etc.

Anyway, during the 1st lecture, my friend gave each of us a bookmark. It reads, '感恩的季節' and '感恩您的 鼓励 關懐 照顧'.

Behind the bookmark, she scribbled some words behind.
'Jess,
hihi. 我们lab的小老师. 多亏有你, 我们的lab才可以做得顺利, 不至于乱七八糟. 虽然我也不是做的很好现在 @_@. haha. 总觉得你很像大姐姐. 很照顾人的感觉. 嘻嘻. 要继续照顾我们喔. 一起加油吧. 努力渡过这难?的 second year.
加油 thank you.
* 这是感恩卡

kq'

I knew I am much older than them. Yet, I did not think that I gave them the impression of a big sister looking after them. I always thought I did not do much as I was very weak in my studies except for the practical (cause so far, I had prepared for those practical before and thus, knew what to do and expect). I was quite touched when I saw this. I must continue to work hard.

On the journey out from school, was chatting with another friend and we talked about the 1st proposal assignment already take so much time and we need time to search information from textbook and other source for our tutorials and the time was limited especially when I am not free over the weekends. It made me think while I was alone on the journey home.

I think it's time for me to quit my dance, it's time to quit my job. The dance was something that I enjoyed and something that had changed my life greatly. Without it, I do not think I would have the courage and confident that I currently have. The job was something that I hope to get me through my course of studies finacially. It was also 1 of the job I thought of doing before many manys years ago. But if I continue on, I am unsure what it will get me to.

I just knew that at this rate I am going, most of the time during weekdays was spend having lessons and even discussion for assignments for HW102. And I am unfree on weekends. Then how am I going to do my tutorials? The tutor expected people to participate and answer questions and will call name if no volunteer. There will be a chance that one day, my name will be called (plus they know me) and the answers can't be found from the lecture notes but I do not have the time to search and read up. Even if I got through the semester without being called upon, what about final exam? Without further read-up for the tutorial, it would be impossible to catch up when exams come. Therefore, I came to a conclusion that I should quit the dance and job so that I can get that extra few hours to study. I know my savings will deplete much sooner if I quit my job but I can't sacrifice my studies. It won't get me anywhere with very poor results.

Over the past months, got a few people quit or said want to quit and he have not find people to replace them and there was a serious shortage of manpower for weekends. Thus, it won't be easy for me to tell him I want to tender but I guess I have to be unkind and firm this time if not it won't do me good. Maybe worst still, I type a resignation letter if I won't get a chance to talk to him if the clinic is busy. I really have no choice now.

I have not tell my mum about this as I do not know how it would go. And dare not let her know as she had been very worried about me. I do not want to let her get the impression that I am struggling. I had been putting a strong front in front of my parents and others close to them. Even dare not take a nap in front of parents as it would give impression that I am tired. It is really not easy. Just hope it went well after I tender and I talk to my seniors in the dance group about quitting. Will do so on coming Sunday. Hope I would be free by end of September.