life is really v precious...
within 24 hr fr ytd afternoon till dis mornin, saw 3 accidents. i donno hw serious they r but d 1st i saw ytd was tt car hit to d traffic light tt even d traffic light spoilt... is it purely accident or due to human error (tiredness/judgement fault/thrill)? i donno.
i think d most upset ppl r their families/loves ones/friends s they will b worry sick hearin d truth. if jus injury, wounds may heal but d wounds incurred deep in those who care for them r hard to heal. prob it can diffused off to a min lvl but wat if death resulted? sighed...
anw, back to sch. term break over. back to serious biz... so far so gd for today. oso enjoyed d short discussion today. actually i don mind stayin w d fun but got lecture to go but lecture ended early.
on way back, it rained heavily. durin d lrt journey home, i was balancin myself & supportin me fr fallin w my hand placed on d door. when i saw hw i place my hand, i suddenly got d urge to play my piano. played it not too long ago but still tempted to. so i played a short while when rice was cookin. haha...
ya. i cooked rice. mum nvr cook today. she asked me buy back but i lazy go buy esp when it's rainin. + i oso duno wat i wanna eat. thus, decided to cook rice & find something to heat up or cook. i thaw d otah fr freeze & cut bit out to heat up for dinner. seein d egg, i suddenly rmbr d nyonya cincaluk omelet i ate at Melaka.
so i tried to fry d cincaluk omelet. it's edible but bit salty. cant really see d cincaluk oso. weird. luckily i still ve d common sense to decide not to add soy sauce or salt to d egg. lol.
i oso cant seemed to find recipe for it. haiz... anw, fried bit more. ltr ask dad try. duno if wanna ask mum try. she don eat cincaluk one & it's shrimp so i oso duno if she can eat due to allergy but she don eat not cos of tt reason. mayb don tell her wat it is but scare she allergy.
actually, in d past i oso don eat tt one. i don fancy it nw oso la. but aunt recommend tt dish to me b4 i went Melaka & i got d chance to try it so i'd been thinkin of tryin to cook tt but nvr had d chance to or rather i too lazy to use d pan & then wash it after. haha...
i oso forget i had 2 tiny itchy blister on my palm. think ate too much seafood durin these period of time. i only rmbr aft i cook it & realized it's shrimp. hope wont cos more 'bubbles' to come out.
well, ltr shall see wat dad's comment ltr. but i think if wanna cook tt, mayb put lesser cincaluk or mayb add more ingredient like vege, etc esp if thr is any tt can lessen d salty-ness? hmm... shall venture more. i wish i got more time to try try...
sighed... i think i really in wrong course la. i can do all sort of things but jus not interested in studies & research. a serious mistake... but nvm... shall perserve for another 1 + yr. must tell myself. nw 2010 & 2011 i'll graduate. soon soon. haha... gambatte!!!
Monday, 8 March 2010
Saturday, 6 March 2010
immunity low
so much for sayin i'm recharged...
ytd nite 8+, duno wat come over me... nose keep runnin till i buah tahan go take flu med. i was oso v ko by 11. s i runnin nose, nvr on aircon slp. in d end, too hot tt i woke up but i was like drunk, no energy move. move a bit, ko thr even if position pretty not right...
late in d nite, oso keep wanna cough tt i drag & pull myself to grab my cup to drink. luckily still got tt enegry or d cup gotta dropped & break...
this mornin, woke up ok but at ard 10+ like tt, nose started to run again. used up 1 pkt of tissue & it sort of stop ard 1. jus aft i took my med. my nose oso ki siao is it?
haiz... hope i'm really alright... nw ok. tml mornin shall see hw. tml still got dance trg. well, jus hope i'm ok. if not go doc? cos med oso runnin out le... :( my immunity for this yr is really low.... i noe i get sick easily but this yr was d worst impact so far... cos every wk oso got prob one leh...
ytd nite 8+, duno wat come over me... nose keep runnin till i buah tahan go take flu med. i was oso v ko by 11. s i runnin nose, nvr on aircon slp. in d end, too hot tt i woke up but i was like drunk, no energy move. move a bit, ko thr even if position pretty not right...
late in d nite, oso keep wanna cough tt i drag & pull myself to grab my cup to drink. luckily still got tt enegry or d cup gotta dropped & break...
this mornin, woke up ok but at ard 10+ like tt, nose started to run again. used up 1 pkt of tissue & it sort of stop ard 1. jus aft i took my med. my nose oso ki siao is it?
haiz... hope i'm really alright... nw ok. tml mornin shall see hw. tml still got dance trg. well, jus hope i'm ok. if not go doc? cos med oso runnin out le... :( my immunity for this yr is really low.... i noe i get sick easily but this yr was d worst impact so far... cos every wk oso got prob one leh...
Thursday, 4 March 2010
drastic changes of high & low...
recently, thr seemed to ve 'drastic swing in my mood'... but don mis-understood... i not gg crazy yet... lol..
aft mid last week, got v down cos of unknown reason y mum seemed angry w me. & w d sch loads comin, i sort of couldn't take it & venture off to west coast park on fri to take a break.
& in same day, my mood swing fr down to calm aft sittin for hrs at west coast park lookin at d sea. & mood progress to high aft bookin for HK trip at NATAS fair though i duno wat i gotta face then.
den sat i got sian cos i think i noe y mum unhappy on fri & it's not my fault. & mon stayed in sch till late tt i worried parents angry & i was angry at myself for always being affected by them, by their over-protectiveness esp when i ve grown so old alrdy... ytd, was told harsh truth. a truth which i noe but i refused to admit but i gotta face it somehw... sighed...
last fri, while at west coast park, i did tot of jumpin into d sea, into d water & 'drown' my unhappiness away but i nvr do tt lah. i still ve my common sense. but today, i got d chance to. lol... went for a swim. short session & though nw arms ache but i'm feelin gd... of course tired but mayb got a little high w d natural pain inhibitor produced by d body. haha...
i feel recharged to chiong for d next 1/2 of my sem le... provided nothin 'bad' happens these few days & subsequent weeks lah...
guess d 'watery' retreat + d getaway trip do their jobs to allow me to push myself further. GAMBATTE!!!
aft mid last week, got v down cos of unknown reason y mum seemed angry w me. & w d sch loads comin, i sort of couldn't take it & venture off to west coast park on fri to take a break.
& in same day, my mood swing fr down to calm aft sittin for hrs at west coast park lookin at d sea. & mood progress to high aft bookin for HK trip at NATAS fair though i duno wat i gotta face then.
den sat i got sian cos i think i noe y mum unhappy on fri & it's not my fault. & mon stayed in sch till late tt i worried parents angry & i was angry at myself for always being affected by them, by their over-protectiveness esp when i ve grown so old alrdy... ytd, was told harsh truth. a truth which i noe but i refused to admit but i gotta face it somehw... sighed...
last fri, while at west coast park, i did tot of jumpin into d sea, into d water & 'drown' my unhappiness away but i nvr do tt lah. i still ve my common sense. but today, i got d chance to. lol... went for a swim. short session & though nw arms ache but i'm feelin gd... of course tired but mayb got a little high w d natural pain inhibitor produced by d body. haha...
i feel recharged to chiong for d next 1/2 of my sem le... provided nothin 'bad' happens these few days & subsequent weeks lah...
guess d 'watery' retreat + d getaway trip do their jobs to allow me to push myself further. GAMBATTE!!!
Wednesday, 3 March 2010
GPA is jus a no & yet its power/influences is so great
today, was further enhanced tt my perception had been right...
academic grades (gpa) really did play a role for future job applications. esp when d degree is tie w d honors... & if get 3rd class & below, may s well don further ur studies...
haiz... i noe i'd made a serious mistake yrs ago. i shld jus b satisfied w my poly dip. though not excellent results, at least i can get to ve a 'decent' job. at least i was called to go for interviews... jus tt i'd no choice but to reject SGH then due to d SARS case & dad forbid me go. at least w tt kind of grades, company do ask me go for interview & i still can get to choose d place to work at.
anw, even though i noe my stand (chances extremely slim), i was told tt employer will 1st see academic grades & so they will jus dump my application away no matter hw gd i can work in d lab. Sob sob
i noe theory impt but if u r to work in d lab, lab skills & understandin of d experiment & hw to proceed is impt oso. if w jus theory, den not gd at lab skills oso no use. but i gotta face reality. d harsh reality.
i can try to enhance my resume w my hands-on skill but i wonder hw far can it take me... anw, was told to buck up & stop d 'snowball' fr rollin. so easier said than done... but wat to do? sighed... guess gotta start 'pullin' my hair again & try my best to chong further. if not,...
well, d most impt i guess is to be able to get a gd start to capture d employer esp w gd gpa. if they dump away my application, no matter hw much i can do practically oso no use cos they oso wont get to find out.
gpa, gpa, gpa, u r jus a no yet ur power/influence is so strong. left 2 sem of examinable modules & 1 sem of FYP to pull up my socks. if not, i really don noe y i press on... i hope my efforts will really pay off...
academic grades (gpa) really did play a role for future job applications. esp when d degree is tie w d honors... & if get 3rd class & below, may s well don further ur studies...
haiz... i noe i'd made a serious mistake yrs ago. i shld jus b satisfied w my poly dip. though not excellent results, at least i can get to ve a 'decent' job. at least i was called to go for interviews... jus tt i'd no choice but to reject SGH then due to d SARS case & dad forbid me go. at least w tt kind of grades, company do ask me go for interview & i still can get to choose d place to work at.
anw, even though i noe my stand (chances extremely slim), i was told tt employer will 1st see academic grades & so they will jus dump my application away no matter hw gd i can work in d lab. Sob sob
i noe theory impt but if u r to work in d lab, lab skills & understandin of d experiment & hw to proceed is impt oso. if w jus theory, den not gd at lab skills oso no use. but i gotta face reality. d harsh reality.
i can try to enhance my resume w my hands-on skill but i wonder hw far can it take me... anw, was told to buck up & stop d 'snowball' fr rollin. so easier said than done... but wat to do? sighed... guess gotta start 'pullin' my hair again & try my best to chong further. if not,...
well, d most impt i guess is to be able to get a gd start to capture d employer esp w gd gpa. if they dump away my application, no matter hw much i can do practically oso no use cos they oso wont get to find out.
gpa, gpa, gpa, u r jus a no yet ur power/influence is so strong. left 2 sem of examinable modules & 1 sem of FYP to pull up my socks. if not, i really don noe y i press on... i hope my efforts will really pay off...
Tuesday, 2 March 2010
a day of hunger, a day of eatin...
aft gg w/o 'dinner' last nite, 2day was being fed by my colleagues...
got buffet teabreak & lunch outside office & they pull me out of my seat to go eat. initially i tot of eatin bread so not to get too heavy lunch & become v sleepy. in d end, i nvr even get to eat my bread.
d buffet was due to d symposium thingy... but thr is too much food so aft d invited guest had their shares, the staffs thr could also eat. cant say leftovers cos it's still lots left...
d mornin teabreak was delayed so we only eat at ard 11.30. i tot tt was lunch which apparently not. anw, they said got another session but i might not b ard tt time. but cos of d late teabreak, i was v fully & d aft meal effect kicked in soon after. was dozin off while i tried to do 'data entry'.
in d end, lunch was 'early' & so ard 1.30 can eat le. in jus 2 hrs hw to digest. & i don eat lots nw so i tot i'll skip 'lunch'. but i was 被骗 to go out. colleagues suggested for me go out take a drink but ended up they passed me a plate & fork & spoon. so i ended up takin 3 small pcs.
a day of hunger & den a day of eatin full. like tt oso not right... lol... was oso given 3 small dark choco. no wonder mum tt time asked if i go work or i go picnic cos d last time i work in d HR dept of another company, d cleaner auntie oso sort of keep feedin me...
anw, chatted w colleagues, they were shocked to hear i was workin thr for 4 yrs & alrdy a 3rd yr student nw. meanin to say i was thr for almost 7 yrs le. they asked if i would cont'd stay. told them i would jus apply anywhr & go anywhr for d experiences b4 i can do anything else. so if d place would b d same, den i got no choice. shall see hw ba... still got > a yr to go.
got buffet teabreak & lunch outside office & they pull me out of my seat to go eat. initially i tot of eatin bread so not to get too heavy lunch & become v sleepy. in d end, i nvr even get to eat my bread.
d buffet was due to d symposium thingy... but thr is too much food so aft d invited guest had their shares, the staffs thr could also eat. cant say leftovers cos it's still lots left...
d mornin teabreak was delayed so we only eat at ard 11.30. i tot tt was lunch which apparently not. anw, they said got another session but i might not b ard tt time. but cos of d late teabreak, i was v fully & d aft meal effect kicked in soon after. was dozin off while i tried to do 'data entry'.
in d end, lunch was 'early' & so ard 1.30 can eat le. in jus 2 hrs hw to digest. & i don eat lots nw so i tot i'll skip 'lunch'. but i was 被骗 to go out. colleagues suggested for me go out take a drink but ended up they passed me a plate & fork & spoon. so i ended up takin 3 small pcs.
a day of hunger & den a day of eatin full. like tt oso not right... lol... was oso given 3 small dark choco. no wonder mum tt time asked if i go work or i go picnic cos d last time i work in d HR dept of another company, d cleaner auntie oso sort of keep feedin me...
anw, chatted w colleagues, they were shocked to hear i was workin thr for 4 yrs & alrdy a 3rd yr student nw. meanin to say i was thr for almost 7 yrs le. they asked if i would cont'd stay. told them i would jus apply anywhr & go anywhr for d experiences b4 i can do anything else. so if d place would b d same, den i got no choice. shall see hw ba... still got > a yr to go.
Monday, 1 March 2010
i'm stressed up again..............
today worked in mornin b4 havin discussion w friends. end up discussin till late.
at 1st i tot of finishin it all up. but s clock ticks, i got more & more uneasy. cos mum not cookin & refused me cook bit of rice myself so i promised tt i buy back eat... yet it was getting late...
plus, parents don want me go back myself fr sch even if 7+ pm when it's still bright but it'll get to 8pm soon. ltr they sure angry again... sighed...
angry i go back late, angry i eat late... so i got too 'stress' tt i keep askin when my friends wanna go...
why? WHY? i alrdy hw old. in crude, based on estimation to nearest 10, i alrdy almost 30 le leh... y do i ve to stress over issue tt parents unhappy i go back late, etc... i really hate it... when they wanna protect me till? i not 3 yr old kid. not even teenager... their protectiveness is really stressin me up oso...
i end up took a cab back & luckily i got back b4 parents hm. & sort of jus in time to get mum's call. had to lie i ate dinner le cos i no time to get mine. of course cant cook s they can b back any moment.
at 1st i tot of finishin it all up. but s clock ticks, i got more & more uneasy. cos mum not cookin & refused me cook bit of rice myself so i promised tt i buy back eat... yet it was getting late...
plus, parents don want me go back myself fr sch even if 7+ pm when it's still bright but it'll get to 8pm soon. ltr they sure angry again... sighed...
angry i go back late, angry i eat late... so i got too 'stress' tt i keep askin when my friends wanna go...
why? WHY? i alrdy hw old. in crude, based on estimation to nearest 10, i alrdy almost 30 le leh... y do i ve to stress over issue tt parents unhappy i go back late, etc... i really hate it... when they wanna protect me till? i not 3 yr old kid. not even teenager... their protectiveness is really stressin me up oso...
i end up took a cab back & luckily i got back b4 parents hm. & sort of jus in time to get mum's call. had to lie i ate dinner le cos i no time to get mine. of course cant cook s they can b back any moment.
好不容易, i destress myself last fri. y do i ve to go thru all these torment again? i noe hw to take care of myself lah. i not d xiao mei mei tt can be easily 骗 lo... can they jus give me a breather?
sob sob sob sob sob... T.T
aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH............!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm so fed up...
tt's y i super hate it if i get tied down & being ctrl too much... tt's y i believed tt thr is a limit in everythin... gg beyond is jus toxic/poison... T.T :(
is my luck getting better?
i think, i hope tt my luck is really gettin better since fri nite...
mum ok even though i 4get tell her i gg toa payoh on sat mornin a while to see d doc for my face prob... tot she'll b mad cos jus happen tt day cousins not comin & mayb she wanna go walk walk oso. *phew*
oso ytd, parents seemed ok too. but i dare not nap lah... dad was cleanin d air con & once a while asked me help but most of d time was mum helpin. usually she wld ask me help instead... weird... but gd for me... i'm glad...
sat, was editin resume & type out a 'CV' to send s email to seek for attachment. cos a no of ppl adviced me to do so in d past 1 mth plus. send out to 5 of d prof i worked under b4 & 2 of d prof which my friend adviced me last wk. i tot chances v slim cos i expect most lab b full. in d end, i got 6 reply so far & only 2 labs full.
4 of d labs r by d prof i worked under b4 & r willin to meet me & prob willin to accept me. i shld ve send 1 application by 1 application. i wanna meet them but i oso duno what will happen durin cos my grads sucks... hw...
anw, in case gotta go interview or wat, i don wear to 随便 cos i shld b able to go interview any time cos i'll b in sch workin or havin proj discussion... but got prob w my shoes. cos i injured d back of left heel. wear cover shoes pain sia... sighed... no choice. so i may limp once a while... wrong time to injure... sighed
mum ok even though i 4get tell her i gg toa payoh on sat mornin a while to see d doc for my face prob... tot she'll b mad cos jus happen tt day cousins not comin & mayb she wanna go walk walk oso. *phew*
oso ytd, parents seemed ok too. but i dare not nap lah... dad was cleanin d air con & once a while asked me help but most of d time was mum helpin. usually she wld ask me help instead... weird... but gd for me... i'm glad...
sat, was editin resume & type out a 'CV' to send s email to seek for attachment. cos a no of ppl adviced me to do so in d past 1 mth plus. send out to 5 of d prof i worked under b4 & 2 of d prof which my friend adviced me last wk. i tot chances v slim cos i expect most lab b full. in d end, i got 6 reply so far & only 2 labs full.
4 of d labs r by d prof i worked under b4 & r willin to meet me & prob willin to accept me. i shld ve send 1 application by 1 application. i wanna meet them but i oso duno what will happen durin cos my grads sucks... hw...
anw, in case gotta go interview or wat, i don wear to 随便 cos i shld b able to go interview any time cos i'll b in sch workin or havin proj discussion... but got prob w my shoes. cos i injured d back of left heel. wear cover shoes pain sia... sighed... no choice. so i may limp once a while... wrong time to injure... sighed
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