today, went to d career fair. not tt beneficial at all. potential employers actually lookin for non sci students actually. WTH!!! wat career fair is this... anw, i alrdy said i open to more options. thus, still submit application to like TTSH though it's non-sci based job.
tt apart, if no 'accident', i guess i would ve 1 more stone relieved fr my shoulder but thr r still many. at least d relievin of 1 is better than nothing. & hopefully i not so stress up s days pass ba.
but i'm still sick. ytd see doc den vomit aft den today d sorethraot got worse n even my cough too. even my voice not really same in afternoon. kinda worried d nvr endin cough haunt me again. it's been quite long since it came back le. so pls cont'd to stay away fr me. thks...
Tuesday, 22 February 2011
sick
it'd been quite some time since i got ill enough till i vomited... my 老毛病 is nose & throat which end up w bloody phlegm/mucus & oso long-duration cough tt takes months to recover. always managed to ctrl to prevent cough cos i noe i cant afford to.
anw, last week, my throat started givin way. dry till irritated till can cough once a while. took duro-tuss dry cough lozenges cos cough syrup running out. & past 2-3 days ago started to have green phelgm/mucus when wake up but today worse cos got spots of blood again.
went doc in morning & tt doc usually don give antibiotic but he gave today. awhile aft took med, out of d blue, i felt v bad. stomach purging d acidic fluid up my mouth till i cant take it & dash to d toilet to vomit. den i took d only sweet i'd left. s i suck d sweet, was still manageable but once d sweet ran out, a while later, i 1/2 ran to d toilet to vomit again. think at tt time, my stomach isn't hungry but had already digested my breakfast so no solid came out. vomit till even my upper abdomen cramp up & it jus felt so terrible tt tears flow again.
at tt time, when i felt so terrible, my thoughts oso ran wild again. was askin myself y i cant rest all these while, y parents like tt, i'm really tired n need rest, n y i'm d one who always had to think for others & put myself in other's shoes & push myself further. y when i needed d care n concern n ppl to dote me & sayang me, i still have to ask for it? y it seemed no one will automatic come to me?
luckily today, cos of my throat, decided to see doctor n nvr went lab. wonder hw i can work tt way. dear was ard n he gave me warm water & asked me to nap so tt i'll feel better cos sleepin. but b4 i nap, was sortin some docu & could feel my head getting heavy n spinning. but scare d docu will fly away, i forced myself to finish sortin & almost ran to d toilet to vomit again.
for lunch, dear went to pack for me but i could only finish 1/2 of d noodle soup. at least i felt much better in d afternoon. prob cos i got take d anti-dizzy cum anti-vomit med. luckily i had tt med oso. it's supposed to be taken 3 times a day but i only took in d late mornin cos i vomited. but a while ago, i jus took it again cos my 胃doesnt feel tt gd again.
in fact, i not sure y but i oso easily felt head spinnin. i cant bend my head low for even a short while inside movin car to search for something inside my bag & oso not for long even if jus sittin down on my bed. i tot was d cough syrup but seemed like not cos even my 胃 started to b not gd oso. it's really not a gd timing to b sick la.
& best part, a big ant dropped on my in d lift & back hm, a tiny 小强 crawled around in front of me & a mosquito challenged my speed for 3 times. thks... wat a day.
it's dear's bday & i so blur till i forget to get him a bday cake. n i oso nvr wish him happy bday d moment he SMS me in morning or 1st thing in fb. at least managed to treat him for dinner. today it's oso my friend's bday n i oso cant rmbr to wish her too. haiz... sorry dear, sorry cecilia! i really didn't mean to forget.
anw, last week, my throat started givin way. dry till irritated till can cough once a while. took duro-tuss dry cough lozenges cos cough syrup running out. & past 2-3 days ago started to have green phelgm/mucus when wake up but today worse cos got spots of blood again.
went doc in morning & tt doc usually don give antibiotic but he gave today. awhile aft took med, out of d blue, i felt v bad. stomach purging d acidic fluid up my mouth till i cant take it & dash to d toilet to vomit. den i took d only sweet i'd left. s i suck d sweet, was still manageable but once d sweet ran out, a while later, i 1/2 ran to d toilet to vomit again. think at tt time, my stomach isn't hungry but had already digested my breakfast so no solid came out. vomit till even my upper abdomen cramp up & it jus felt so terrible tt tears flow again.
at tt time, when i felt so terrible, my thoughts oso ran wild again. was askin myself y i cant rest all these while, y parents like tt, i'm really tired n need rest, n y i'm d one who always had to think for others & put myself in other's shoes & push myself further. y when i needed d care n concern n ppl to dote me & sayang me, i still have to ask for it? y it seemed no one will automatic come to me?
luckily today, cos of my throat, decided to see doctor n nvr went lab. wonder hw i can work tt way. dear was ard n he gave me warm water & asked me to nap so tt i'll feel better cos sleepin. but b4 i nap, was sortin some docu & could feel my head getting heavy n spinning. but scare d docu will fly away, i forced myself to finish sortin & almost ran to d toilet to vomit again.
for lunch, dear went to pack for me but i could only finish 1/2 of d noodle soup. at least i felt much better in d afternoon. prob cos i got take d anti-dizzy cum anti-vomit med. luckily i had tt med oso. it's supposed to be taken 3 times a day but i only took in d late mornin cos i vomited. but a while ago, i jus took it again cos my 胃doesnt feel tt gd again.
in fact, i not sure y but i oso easily felt head spinnin. i cant bend my head low for even a short while inside movin car to search for something inside my bag & oso not for long even if jus sittin down on my bed. i tot was d cough syrup but seemed like not cos even my 胃 started to b not gd oso. it's really not a gd timing to b sick la.
& best part, a big ant dropped on my in d lift & back hm, a tiny 小强 crawled around in front of me & a mosquito challenged my speed for 3 times. thks... wat a day.
it's dear's bday & i so blur till i forget to get him a bday cake. n i oso nvr wish him happy bday d moment he SMS me in morning or 1st thing in fb. at least managed to treat him for dinner. today it's oso my friend's bday n i oso cant rmbr to wish her too. haiz... sorry dear, sorry cecilia! i really didn't mean to forget.
Sunday, 20 February 2011
scary & eerie nightmare or???
last nite had a scary & eerie nightmare or is it not?
i always squeezed to a corner of my bed to slp & place bolster & pillow on my other side. fr young, i always like small space cos it made me more secure.
fr my memory, i sense something at d bolster & pillow side. it's like someone is thr but either i cant see or i cant even turn to see. but i really 抗拒 tt presence which seemed to wanna pull me towards it. it tugged & pulled my hand which i resist.
den i suddenly felt s if someone wanna carry me fr below my knee & back. & it's trying to carry me off & out of my bed. i cant moved still but i managed to move my hand & grab on my mattress cover & so it failed to get me out of my bed again.
failing to do so, i suddenly felt something pressing on my throat & chest s if trying to suffocate me. i can feel out of breath. esp due to d pressure on my neck. i tot this time, i gonna die but somehw, d presence left.
i guess i'm still scare of dying. scare of leavin. but wat is d purpose of tt something? who or wat is it? d only someone who i can associate w is my grandma whom i always cried to bring me away when i'm really low? is it her? did she come to prove to me tt i actually didn't wanna die? if not her, then who else? *shivered*
i always squeezed to a corner of my bed to slp & place bolster & pillow on my other side. fr young, i always like small space cos it made me more secure.
fr my memory, i sense something at d bolster & pillow side. it's like someone is thr but either i cant see or i cant even turn to see. but i really 抗拒 tt presence which seemed to wanna pull me towards it. it tugged & pulled my hand which i resist.
den i suddenly felt s if someone wanna carry me fr below my knee & back. & it's trying to carry me off & out of my bed. i cant moved still but i managed to move my hand & grab on my mattress cover & so it failed to get me out of my bed again.
failing to do so, i suddenly felt something pressing on my throat & chest s if trying to suffocate me. i can feel out of breath. esp due to d pressure on my neck. i tot this time, i gonna die but somehw, d presence left.
i guess i'm still scare of dying. scare of leavin. but wat is d purpose of tt something? who or wat is it? d only someone who i can associate w is my grandma whom i always cried to bring me away when i'm really low? is it her? did she come to prove to me tt i actually didn't wanna die? if not her, then who else? *shivered*
Thursday, 17 February 2011
shag
wah sey... since last week, been really busy in lab esp esp early in mornin. can start a couple of experiments almost at 1 time, 1 aft another during d waiting time in btw & runnin ard like crazy fr lab to core area. in & out, in & out numerous times within minutes till my feet (esp heels & thighs) hurts & my back oso tensed up. though got a place to sit in office oso like nvr sit for long. 1st time reach at 8.30 +/-, is to tie hair, change shoes & go lab n start work.
shag shag shag aft all these... & today, i really cannot take it but took another 5 min slp b4 i head to sch & in bus really k/o. but d moment i reach, start work again cos i need to spin down d bacteria aft growin them for 6-7 hours. i wished i can sleep more n rest more at hm but i guess it's gonna b hard. n my feet nw hurts quite bad even when not standing & worse when i stood up but den still will have hsework to do esp on weekends.
i started this rabbit yr w prob at hm n ended d cny w tonnes of works. jus great... but at least d cny ended off w a pcs of gd news ba. it's something tt give me more reason to cont'd work hard to look forward to. 1 of d things i had to settle & thr r many others tt i'm tryin to settle or r awaitin me to settle.
n this yr i'll b graduatin, so i guess this yr will b a yr of changes for me ba. hopefully it's changes for d better. shall not look back on all d unhappiness no matter hw bad i'd started off this rabbit yr. tt day, my friend gave me 兔肉干. mayb i shall eat it up to conquer this yr. if i dare to eat it...
shag shag shag aft all these... & today, i really cannot take it but took another 5 min slp b4 i head to sch & in bus really k/o. but d moment i reach, start work again cos i need to spin down d bacteria aft growin them for 6-7 hours. i wished i can sleep more n rest more at hm but i guess it's gonna b hard. n my feet nw hurts quite bad even when not standing & worse when i stood up but den still will have hsework to do esp on weekends.
i started this rabbit yr w prob at hm n ended d cny w tonnes of works. jus great... but at least d cny ended off w a pcs of gd news ba. it's something tt give me more reason to cont'd work hard to look forward to. 1 of d things i had to settle & thr r many others tt i'm tryin to settle or r awaitin me to settle.
n this yr i'll b graduatin, so i guess this yr will b a yr of changes for me ba. hopefully it's changes for d better. shall not look back on all d unhappiness no matter hw bad i'd started off this rabbit yr. tt day, my friend gave me 兔肉干. mayb i shall eat it up to conquer this yr. if i dare to eat it...
Monday, 14 February 2011
20110214 - Valentine's Day Surprise
Got a Valentine's Day surprise from Dear. I know he this year never agreed to order flower from his friend but apparently he ordered fr his cousin & asked his cousin to send to sch. i duno hw he got d add cos i tot he jus noe hw to come but oh well, it we send to d GO.& my colleague called me near noon & said thr was a delivery for me which was weird. if thr is lab delivery, should be call d lab staff & not me wat. but i tot tt mayb line engage or so. end up saw his cousin at d counter whr i work b4.
& i sign d DO & it was correctly stated 60 Nanyang Drive. wow... & students r sellin/deliverin pre-ordered flowers & mine was so much bigger. at d lift lobby, saw a friend & enterin d lift, thr is a student w many bouquet of small small flowers to deliver but d size of mine was like similar to wat she was holdin & she kept starin at mine till i duno wat or hw to react.
but it was a pleasant surprise for me. thanks dear!
Sunday, 13 February 2011
pure smiles?
today went to a family friends hse for cny gatherin. 1st time i went thr durin cny. i think so. anw, i was invited tgt w my bf cos he's d sec sch friend of d younger son & it was their family gatherin plus sch friends gatherin.
since d family were a long friends of mine, d auntie was d friend whom my mum been talkin to all these while & so i had a long talk w her. i really envy their family. so happy & can joke ard & d auntie is really understandin & talked w me & encourage me to b happier fr nw on. i'll try but easier said than done.
anw, aft tellin d auntie d whole story, when she asked mon hw i gonna celebrate cos it's valentine's day plus oso sort of d day dear n i noe each other. told d auntie tt i duno cos 1) duno wat time dear workin & till wat time he'll end & 2) i oso duno wat time my lab work will end too though dinner might b possible but if busy den might b v late. 3) even if got time, hw much energy will we have or rather will i have? & oso wat is d possible time? at least d auntie understand unlike my mum who kept thinkin tt i kept gg to his place to eat & dun wan her. i seldom go over nw le wor.
well, though i really seldom talk w d auntie, when i did, i always felt more relax & at ease after chattin w her. she is 1 of those ppl whom i would confide in esp since last yr but seldom cos she is afterall a 长辈. & though tt day i wished to call her, i nvr cos i noe she oso must b busy for cny & oso takin care of 2 grandsons. her 2 grandsons r really adorable.
d auntie treat me like a daughter & her 2 sons treat me like sis though we weren't in much contact in d past. & so it made me d 姑姑 of her 2 grandsons but i only see d elder 1 for 2 time & d other 1 time since they were born. thus, today was either d 3rd or d 2nd time i see them. & i'm surprised tt d elder one who was in d walker actually opened up his arms wantin me to carry him. & i oso managed to make d younger one smile so widely till he got hiccups.
i really loved to see their smile & hear their laughter. it's so pure, so innocent, so 单纯, so bright, so true, so energetic, etc. it glow inside my darken heart tt i wished i could smile like them ever again. recently, even if i laugh or smile, it'll soon be embraced by d darkness fr deep within me. it's like d death eaters or watsoever fr harry potter story were hauntin me, following me ard but d smile & laughter fr my 2 nephews give me some hope to wan to get a chance to smile like them too. will i ever?
since d family were a long friends of mine, d auntie was d friend whom my mum been talkin to all these while & so i had a long talk w her. i really envy their family. so happy & can joke ard & d auntie is really understandin & talked w me & encourage me to b happier fr nw on. i'll try but easier said than done.
anw, aft tellin d auntie d whole story, when she asked mon hw i gonna celebrate cos it's valentine's day plus oso sort of d day dear n i noe each other. told d auntie tt i duno cos 1) duno wat time dear workin & till wat time he'll end & 2) i oso duno wat time my lab work will end too though dinner might b possible but if busy den might b v late. 3) even if got time, hw much energy will we have or rather will i have? & oso wat is d possible time? at least d auntie understand unlike my mum who kept thinkin tt i kept gg to his place to eat & dun wan her. i seldom go over nw le wor.
well, though i really seldom talk w d auntie, when i did, i always felt more relax & at ease after chattin w her. she is 1 of those ppl whom i would confide in esp since last yr but seldom cos she is afterall a 长辈. & though tt day i wished to call her, i nvr cos i noe she oso must b busy for cny & oso takin care of 2 grandsons. her 2 grandsons r really adorable.
d auntie treat me like a daughter & her 2 sons treat me like sis though we weren't in much contact in d past. & so it made me d 姑姑 of her 2 grandsons but i only see d elder 1 for 2 time & d other 1 time since they were born. thus, today was either d 3rd or d 2nd time i see them. & i'm surprised tt d elder one who was in d walker actually opened up his arms wantin me to carry him. & i oso managed to make d younger one smile so widely till he got hiccups.
i really loved to see their smile & hear their laughter. it's so pure, so innocent, so 单纯, so bright, so true, so energetic, etc. it glow inside my darken heart tt i wished i could smile like them ever again. recently, even if i laugh or smile, it'll soon be embraced by d darkness fr deep within me. it's like d death eaters or watsoever fr harry potter story were hauntin me, following me ard but d smile & laughter fr my 2 nephews give me some hope to wan to get a chance to smile like them too. will i ever?
Thursday, 10 February 2011
Technology
technology is forever advancin. can 1 catch up w d forever advancin technology? can 1 b so up to date to have all d latest technology? n is all these technology so gd? r thr any flaws? will they fail u?
long time ago, hw do ppl rmbr other ppl's contact no or address esp those u usually keep in ocntact like families, relatives & friends? esp for contact no, most ppl rmbr it w their brain unless ppl don mind bringin d handwritten phone book but rather than flipping manually, i guess it's so much faster to browse thru fr d brain.
so nw hw ppl rmbr? or did they even rmbr or bother to rmbr? almost everyone got hp nw. & hp can save contact no. so most ppl don bother rmbr d no ba. jus type d person's name & d no would come out. hw many ppl can rmbr all ur immediately families no, relatives no & close friends' no? i cant. i can only rmbr my parents no & dear's no. so hw much u usin ur brain?
so wat bout address? unless u got keep gg to d place, if not u oso wont rmbr & tt is cos of d conditioning of one's brain. u may noe hw to go but if ask u to write out d add, can u? so wat happen if don rmbr, jus call or sms d person right?
wat if phone no batt, no reception, or phone dead for wat so ever reasons? human had become too dependent & rely too much on such technology. when phone or contact lost, oh, nvm, got fb, got email.
months ago, i lost all my email contacts cos i deleted off fr my old phone cos it sync n mess up my contact book in my phone & somehw, it got sync back to my email acc. so thks ah. i noe i had lost some impt email contact which till nw i cant rmbr who. s for friends constantly being contacted, can get back their email add by sms, by fb or even when meetup.
den if u usin a norm old model phone & d batt weak le. batt dead den will u rmbr d no u need to call if u r meetin tt someone?
even if u got d newest model phone, a really popular phone. does it meant tt this wont happen, i got friend whose phone batt guage isn't accurate & her phone can went dead. den hw? even iphone oso got flaws.
recently, went to service ctr cos reception weak & got sms late or got incident tt i nvr received. plus phone oso got many background noise tt cant make out wat other party is trying to say. den hw? luckily got a replacement set & they transfer all my contact for me. if not, den i would have to use email (which i don ve a full list) or else thru facebook to get back all my contact le.
& tt time, mum kisiao cos dad nvr pick up her call & y? cos phone's prob + volume somehw got turn to minimum. & oso tt time my mio down & esp when durin time when i need d web for research. so?
i guess i'm startin to hate d ever advancin technology. technology can make ur life so much simpler. so much till u'll feel handicapped w/o it. i think i'm better of livin in d old old era whr communication is so much harder. den i wont ve to face prob of havin many miss call fr hm, etc.
anw, all these jus a tot cos today my friend told me bout her trip w her husband to japan. 1 of a place on d hill (resort or so). cos it's was d only time she managed to spend quality time w her husband cos usually ppl would b glued to d tv, d cpu, d laptop, game, hp, etc.
like dad, when he's watchin tv, u tell him things he oso wont notice. happened w dear b4 oso. & apparently my friend oso experience too. i wonder oso if it's cos ppl nwadays find leisure fr all these gadgets & end up throwin out all d negative things on ppl & 发泄 on them? i wish things aint like this. it's really sad.
afterall, we r all human. human ve our own needs. we aint robort. we need genuine care & concern fr d bottom of d heart. we need encouragment & support. n sorry but i ve to say this tt human r oso selfish & didn't like to share ppl or things. so mayb tt's oso y mum not happy cos thr is another person sharin my time w her. n at times, i dislike sharin dear's time w his ipod touch or internet too esp if i feelin down cos i cant find any comfort fr all these gadgets.
long time ago, hw do ppl rmbr other ppl's contact no or address esp those u usually keep in ocntact like families, relatives & friends? esp for contact no, most ppl rmbr it w their brain unless ppl don mind bringin d handwritten phone book but rather than flipping manually, i guess it's so much faster to browse thru fr d brain.
so nw hw ppl rmbr? or did they even rmbr or bother to rmbr? almost everyone got hp nw. & hp can save contact no. so most ppl don bother rmbr d no ba. jus type d person's name & d no would come out. hw many ppl can rmbr all ur immediately families no, relatives no & close friends' no? i cant. i can only rmbr my parents no & dear's no. so hw much u usin ur brain?
so wat bout address? unless u got keep gg to d place, if not u oso wont rmbr & tt is cos of d conditioning of one's brain. u may noe hw to go but if ask u to write out d add, can u? so wat happen if don rmbr, jus call or sms d person right?
wat if phone no batt, no reception, or phone dead for wat so ever reasons? human had become too dependent & rely too much on such technology. when phone or contact lost, oh, nvm, got fb, got email.
months ago, i lost all my email contacts cos i deleted off fr my old phone cos it sync n mess up my contact book in my phone & somehw, it got sync back to my email acc. so thks ah. i noe i had lost some impt email contact which till nw i cant rmbr who. s for friends constantly being contacted, can get back their email add by sms, by fb or even when meetup.
den if u usin a norm old model phone & d batt weak le. batt dead den will u rmbr d no u need to call if u r meetin tt someone?
even if u got d newest model phone, a really popular phone. does it meant tt this wont happen, i got friend whose phone batt guage isn't accurate & her phone can went dead. den hw? even iphone oso got flaws.
recently, went to service ctr cos reception weak & got sms late or got incident tt i nvr received. plus phone oso got many background noise tt cant make out wat other party is trying to say. den hw? luckily got a replacement set & they transfer all my contact for me. if not, den i would have to use email (which i don ve a full list) or else thru facebook to get back all my contact le.
& tt time, mum kisiao cos dad nvr pick up her call & y? cos phone's prob + volume somehw got turn to minimum. & oso tt time my mio down & esp when durin time when i need d web for research. so?
i guess i'm startin to hate d ever advancin technology. technology can make ur life so much simpler. so much till u'll feel handicapped w/o it. i think i'm better of livin in d old old era whr communication is so much harder. den i wont ve to face prob of havin many miss call fr hm, etc.
anw, all these jus a tot cos today my friend told me bout her trip w her husband to japan. 1 of a place on d hill (resort or so). cos it's was d only time she managed to spend quality time w her husband cos usually ppl would b glued to d tv, d cpu, d laptop, game, hp, etc.
like dad, when he's watchin tv, u tell him things he oso wont notice. happened w dear b4 oso. & apparently my friend oso experience too. i wonder oso if it's cos ppl nwadays find leisure fr all these gadgets & end up throwin out all d negative things on ppl & 发泄 on them? i wish things aint like this. it's really sad.
afterall, we r all human. human ve our own needs. we aint robort. we need genuine care & concern fr d bottom of d heart. we need encouragment & support. n sorry but i ve to say this tt human r oso selfish & didn't like to share ppl or things. so mayb tt's oso y mum not happy cos thr is another person sharin my time w her. n at times, i dislike sharin dear's time w his ipod touch or internet too esp if i feelin down cos i cant find any comfort fr all these gadgets.
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