today went to a family friends hse for cny gatherin. 1st time i went thr durin cny. i think so. anw, i was invited tgt w my bf cos he's d sec sch friend of d younger son & it was their family gatherin plus sch friends gatherin.
since d family were a long friends of mine, d auntie was d friend whom my mum been talkin to all these while & so i had a long talk w her. i really envy their family. so happy & can joke ard & d auntie is really understandin & talked w me & encourage me to b happier fr nw on. i'll try but easier said than done.
anw, aft tellin d auntie d whole story, when she asked mon hw i gonna celebrate cos it's valentine's day plus oso sort of d day dear n i noe each other. told d auntie tt i duno cos 1) duno wat time dear workin & till wat time he'll end & 2) i oso duno wat time my lab work will end too though dinner might b possible but if busy den might b v late. 3) even if got time, hw much energy will we have or rather will i have? & oso wat is d possible time? at least d auntie understand unlike my mum who kept thinkin tt i kept gg to his place to eat & dun wan her. i seldom go over nw le wor.
well, though i really seldom talk w d auntie, when i did, i always felt more relax & at ease after chattin w her. she is 1 of those ppl whom i would confide in esp since last yr but seldom cos she is afterall a 长辈. & though tt day i wished to call her, i nvr cos i noe she oso must b busy for cny & oso takin care of 2 grandsons. her 2 grandsons r really adorable.
d auntie treat me like a daughter & her 2 sons treat me like sis though we weren't in much contact in d past. & so it made me d 姑姑 of her 2 grandsons but i only see d elder 1 for 2 time & d other 1 time since they were born. thus, today was either d 3rd or d 2nd time i see them. & i'm surprised tt d elder one who was in d walker actually opened up his arms wantin me to carry him. & i oso managed to make d younger one smile so widely till he got hiccups.
i really loved to see their smile & hear their laughter. it's so pure, so innocent, so 单纯, so bright, so true, so energetic, etc. it glow inside my darken heart tt i wished i could smile like them ever again. recently, even if i laugh or smile, it'll soon be embraced by d darkness fr deep within me. it's like d death eaters or watsoever fr harry potter story were hauntin me, following me ard but d smile & laughter fr my 2 nephews give me some hope to wan to get a chance to smile like them too. will i ever?
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