bad ending...

today is d last day for fun & to relax before i shall gear on for d next battle next week on but it didn't end off quite s well...

met my 3 uni xiao meis go east coast park. single trip travel alone can b 2 hr or more. i siao right? we went cyclin & had a 2nd try on d roller blade. skatin cannot make it. super windy & they changed d road to a smoother concrete... i give up eventually cos my leg tired le.

we cycle ard & stopped to see ppl wake-boardin thr, we cycle den stopped for water break & i bought tibits share w friends cos i hungry oso. i finished d big glup of 100 plus even b4 my friend finished her smaller cup of drinks s i was too thirsty. they said i'm a camel. i can dun drink water for whole day but when i drink i can drink many... oops...


anw, after our east coast park trip, went to toa payoh take shutter bus to turf city for steamboat cum bbq buffet. ate more than usual. 1 friend took all d diff types of balls, another took diff types of marinated chicken while i took diff types of mushrm to share. in d end, most dun quite like so much mushrm so i had to clear. plus all d chicken & balls, etc, i became too full... ate much more than usual. was too full, too bloat till stomach v uncomfortable even till nw...

a bad move, tt's y i initially tot of jus takin wat we wanna eat but of course tt not s much 'bondin'. thus, we try to take & share everything. bit too much for me... jus took a med. hope it will get better.

2nd bad move to end my day but it wasn't really tt bad. didn't realized d shuttle bus will stop outside whr i got direct bus hm. so in d end, go clementi, den mrt to jurong, den mrt to cck den lrt hm... if i took bus, no need so much transfer. shld b faster oso ba. & can come hm faster & take d med.

3rd bad move which is d worst like d 1st was to call my mum to check the time to wake up tml. b accompanin her to SGH for her blood test etc. cos it's gettin late & they might go sleep anytime, decided to call & check w her. in d end, i duno y i stepped on her tail again. her tone was bad. i noe it's gettin late & i initiate to call & check & inform her i would reach hm in 30 min + wor. sighed... spoilt my mood...

i really dread gg hm then... dread every step i made for each transfer, & even after i reach d lrt stn. i purposely go top-up my ez-link card, & go open letterbox & even walk slowly back. initially i wanted to go back asap. i pretty uncomfortable w my bloated stomach. yet, after my mum's bad tone in her reply. i duno wat will happen when i go back.

in d end, when i go back, she seemed alright or hide d unhappiness behind which she is also capable of ... i duno her lah... it makes me think wat is call 'home'...

it shld b a place whr everyone wanna go back to asap, a place of comfort, a cozy place, a place of warmth, a place whr ones would look forward to, etc. but mine is like a mine field. jus like when i always play minesweeper. i can step on a mine by accident or when unlucky. sighed...

sometimes, i feel like stayin hm & yet sometimes i dread so... but i had no whr else to go esp at this timing. gg out w friends may not help oso... uncertain of when i would step on mine, uncertain of wat i shld do, i really feel like cryin... or shld i say, i'm alrdy cryin in my heart... sighed...

i'll rather dun ve anything. i dun mind sleepin on floor & had nothing else but light & comp for me to do my sch work if i could exchange for d clearin of all d mines in d mine field... i'm really serious. i dun mind even jus plain bread for every meal. i'm jus a simple gal wantin a simple life, a simple hm... wat's so difficult bout tt??? T.T