life-long learning journey

life is nvr easy. humans r nvr satisfied. every human r diff. it's d matter of hw we face & deal w each other & hw we accomodate to each other.

let's jus throw away d fact tt i'm d only child + a female so even more protective. recently i can feel d diff of being alone & being in a relationship.

being alone means everything on own. no 1 to report to. jus a free n easy being. but when comes to unhappy, sad, worrying, stressful, etc encounters, jus ve to deal w all these alone. no 1 to support & encourage u.

being in a relationship really needs lots of effort too in addition to accomodating to 1 another s no 2 individuals r exactly d same. cannot only think of own self. must bear in mind tt thr is 1 more person close to u who u must proceed in d same direction with. not s easy s said.

n to make it worse, other than d relationship u r in, thr r other commitments like family, work & also others & also of course friends. juggling everything tgt is even tougher. & i don think i'm doin a v gd job.

had let go of many things these few yrs. my work, my past clinic job, my piano lesson, & recently my dance oso & yet time is still limited. n thr r lingerin of some regrets here & thr in addition to d tiredness i'd accumulated all these years. *shake head*

well, to add on, i'd choosen a bf who is working shift, shift that is constantly changing & so meet-up is always known a day ago or even on actual day. longer period of time tt can't meet up is also possible & tt makes it harder to keep everything in ctrl & esp w a mum who scare i dun wan her. it jus feel at times tt i'm being tore apart. family, bf n friends n my soka activities too. hw would u rank according to priority?

family should be given priority right? wat bout bf? he should b amg d high priority oso right + he workin shift so if don meet den duno when d next time can le. soka activities is religion activities & so oso got a certain weightage. friends oso impt & so hw? all equal? hw to? chinese always say, pian xin which is true. d heart is slightly to d left & not at d center. cfm meet say friend den end up 'o. oh' got soka activities den hw? religion wor. den if is meet bf den got soka den hw? might not c him for duno hw long wor. if only everything can go swee swee, fixed nicely into schedule but den life is always not so easy.

for dear, he felt tt 1st come 1st serve no matter who u r but for tt i beg to differ. thr should ve certain priority for certain things or people but it's indeed hard to decide when thr can ve many combination of people & events. like wedding dinner of a not so close friend but still consider ok s compare with a normal get-tgt dinner w a gp of extremely close friend tt u long time nvr meet. anw, doesn't it sound ridiculous tt someone really close like ur mom / dad / grandparents / husband/wife / bf/gf / kids needs to book an appt w u to do or get certain things?

anw, sometimes, it's also gd to mayb choose by queueing to b s fair s possible but i feel tt it should b flexible too & ppl like ur friends should understand if gotta change plan eventually. tt's y all these while it's jus not easy to get 3 of my other close sec sch friends tgt.

well, even if go by 1st come 1st serve, also need d courtesy to also inform someone, even if they r ur 'partner', s they might b expectin u & ur presence that u might not b able to so that at least they could change of plan soon too if they wan. it would be their decision to decide wat to do when d time end up free. anw, this shoudl apply even for last min events which has more priority like for eg, i cant possibly say, 'but u alrdy promise to meet me, so u can't go work'. if not, he oso wont end up cancellin medical appt because of work or other issue. & wat's more impt than health oso?

so watever it is, esp in relationship, 1 ve to learn to think of 1 another & understand & accomodate with each other & not fr single party & oso rather than, i wan this, i wan tt & even at last min. must think of each other feelings too. thr is jus so much more lesson to be learnt in life. we must learn to b satisfied with watever we got & look into each other's 'you dian' rather than flaws oso but of course we must strive to change for d better too b it small thing or big major revamp & tt's is oso termed 'human revolution' which i learn in my soka.

i noe i got so much more to learn, so much more to change to b better but i'll appreciate watever i'm blessed w right nw. shall try to b a more easily satisfied person too. life is a life-long learning journey.