Thursday, 9 September 2010

a fact or i give up or i got too used to current?

wat shld i do? ytd had a FYP briefin & den at nite, chat w a friend whom i encourage to try apply local uni & further studies.

this friend whom almost gave up aft failure to get a place in local m doin quite well. he's in an a* research institution doin his PhD nw while i'm still strugglin in my degree.

well, previously, & actually currently, i'm doin lab attachment in d lab & d prof wld accept me back to cont'd d proj & do it s FYP. however, there is still asmall % of not gettin in s d prof & his project must oso fit into d criteria so s to b able to accept me.

but, i can reserve d place for higher chance otherwise d rest of d proj will b to compete w ~200 students or more, for tt, must meet up diff prof & record down d date too. bit more tedious but i oso don mind venturin out of my current lab & even venture out of my sch. had my resume fill w experiences, etc fr dis place. work, study, & multiple part-times in d same location. i was in dis place till i had confused many many ppl, even d prof s they could see me everywhere.

to venture out, i noe my stand w my grades but wat my friend said is v true. nvr try hw i noe. & tt i alrdy judge my stand myself & not givin chance for me to b assess by others.

thus, i end up wonderin... wonderin if it's cos i so sure of my stand or cos i don wanna leave d comfort zone or rather d convenience?

in my sch, i got d convenience of d staff bus & so no need pay extra $$ if i go outside. ppl noe me & understand hw i work & so i got recommended & given priorities for all d part time jobs currently till my colleagues comment tt i'm 'jess' of all trade since i'm a gal & so i cant b 'jack'.

& oso in my current lab, i'd made friends & they r nice ppl. min politics & max fun like a fam. they r approachable & so i noe if i need help in my fyp i can get d help i would need. & furthermore, prof nvr bother d time i leave, etc so long s i produce results. thus, i got d freedom. & he seemed to recognize & will acknowledge my effort even in front of those potential PhD or staff who actually just came for interview & looked around.

though d proj will b a further continuation of wat i'd been doin & though wat i did now wont b taken into acc for my gradin & cant use any of d results, i still ve an advantage tt i noe wat i'd been doin so far & can start d work immediately w/o much delay. & oso i'm alrdy adapted to d lab culture & no need to readapt & readjust.

but, if i can get more exposure & more diff experience, tt would even further enhance my resume & chances to get a better job. thr r so many diff pros & cons. wat shld i do? haiz... tough decsion... mayb like my friend who asked me to try try apply outside & step out of my comfort zone? & mayb i would noe my stand. if i stand a chance to do FYP in a say gd research institution, which means i could find job easier. if not, den i might get stuck in my current place for few more yrs which erm... due to d conveniences, i don mind. but at least i noe my stand?

d prob is oso cos i wld feel bad. initially i go to my current lab cos prof wld allow me contd fyp while another don. of course another factor is tt this prof give me proj while d other jus asked me help whoever who needs. but aft i got in, though tempted, i nvr ask my prof again bout d fyp but d graduate student asked for me recently & d prof cfm it again.

well, wateevr it is, i think i jus try b4 i do any decision ba. do 1 things at a time. hehe... so long s i get d time to play ard (tt boils down to leavin whr i wish to so s to get more time).

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