hw many times do i ve to go thru this? i shld ve 学乖 aft though not tt many overseas trips...
i'm suddenly not look forward to d HK trip in june. all thks to u noe who... i'm so angry... so pissed off... so fed up.... so upset... so sad... y? y do they ve to do this?
they say wanna go HK. mum said wanna bring cousin & she likes to go disney. i object to bring her oso no use. forget it. mum oso suggest disney tt time. today, when dad list out d no of days for d trip & eliminate d days for disney, i said tt is not i wan one but they wan. mum said she nvr say... i really wanna faint on d spot...
d trip was 6d5n. 1d at disney, 1d macau, 1d shenzhen, 1/2d city tour, 1/2 a day gone to travel to HK, almost another 1/2 day gone to travel back to airport... so don ve much time left...
they still wanna follow our friend's itinerary say shenzhen 1d not enough. so ask us to find out if can extend a nite at shen zhen which i don see d pt. parents say v rush jus go shen zhen 1d. but she oso say nite time more to walk. so y stay 1 nite thr? next day 12 we still gotta check out. so wat can they do thr in mornin?
if get transfer by travel agency, sure more exp. if transfer by their 'MRT', sure v mafan & they sure grumble. i got my friend's itinerary & noe they go thr 3d2n but parents insist is 2d1n. so do they mean they wan extend another 2n at shen zhen?
wat they heard is shen zhen sell cheaper than HK. den they jus go shen zhen la. i understand tt they wanna utilize d time thr & since thr, go s many places s possible. but i can say even 8d7n go both HK & Shen Zhen oso not enough one lah. unless they stay thr for mayb 1/2 a yr?
d thing i really mad & angry is tt they ask us plan. yet they do this again. history repeat all over itself when i did more intensive research nw in findin detail map, in finding places to shop, etc. d transfer, etc. I DON WANNA PLAN AGAIN. I DON WANNA GO HOLI W THEM AGAIN!!! jus gonna b 2nd trip & dear alrdy reach max. said wont go w them again.
i can say i sch busy. for attachment, for FYP, & den for work. but... tt means if dear/friends wanna go overseas or wat, i cant go oso. cos i suppose to b 'busy'. but i really don wanna go w them... nvr again... hw... if i go w them, i don noe hw can i cope... i really donno... cos i definitely no whr to go but stick w them for those days esp if i alone w them.
i was alrdy angry w them for pushin away d disney idea, & den addin in more stun. durin dinner, saw d soup only left 1 prawn & dad likes prawn so i jus say i don wan tt bowl of soup & took d prawn to dad's bowl & say i don wanna eat so many seafood oso cos of my allergy. but main reason is dad (but i keep hush bout tt). in d end, mum say i 没胆. cannot b scared...
i wanna blurt out & say if i 没胆,
i wont go play in d sea water since sec sch d beach even though parents don allow,
i wont learn cyclin behind their back,
i wont go kayakin out to d sea when i don noe hw to swim,
i wont sneak to wild wild wet yrs ago when i don noe hw to swim at all,
i wont lie & get d chance to stay o/n w friends in d hotel aft my poly d&d
i wont ve d intention to go to d pub, etc durin d nite stay at d hotel
i wont go try pick up swimmin w my friends ignorin my parents' concern,
i wont join d dance gp i'm in nw & performed in front of many ppl,
i wont take up d role s my friend's weddin banquet emcee,
i wont go try roller blading w my friends,
etc
thr r many many things they don noe bout me. & i'm sure thr r many things i would like to try & if i don try nw, when do i? when i old? can they jus face it? i'm no longer a kid. can they don instill their thinkin & treat it s mine?
tt's not all d blow today. they ordered 3 dishes + 1 soup + 30 satay today for dinner. i stopped when i full & oso remind dear not to force cos dad keep askin him to 'help clear'. dad comment say i not cannot squeeze but i don wanna squeeze. say i capable of eatin many. if yrs back, i agree but not nw. told him tt i went buffet w friends mths ago & i end up v bloated & uncomfortable & end up takin med. told him, if he wan, i force in & asked d med fr him. he said eat & squeeze 1 or 2 more time wont pain le. -.-'''
oso told them tt dear tt time, end up vomittin & stomachache for whole nite & even vomit again in middle of d nite till his mum questioned me wat he ate. bout dear, i alrdy told mum cos dad always keep askin dear to 'help' clear d food but mum seemed to forget or choose to forget. guess wat, he said d same thing by saying squeeze 1 or 2 more time b ok le. he oso said if dear's mum asked, he'll say his mom nvr let him eat much. told him not so cos his mum always cook alot & cant finish. his reply was, d food not to dear's liking. -.-''' so i ended up sayin tt at least his mom nvr forced us to eat & ltr his mom forbid him come eat w us. mum said it's ok. at most she & my dad eat tgt loh.
so aft d trip issue, & me 没胆 + wanna forced us eat when we cant, i was v v v angry & upset alrdy. dear by my side & tryin to comfort me actually made me more emo cos i can see tt he care but my saddness overwhelm me. & tt's not all.
neighbout bout fried oyster egg for us. parents asked us share. we ate 1st & they said still many so i said if cant finish, jus throw. they say i nvr eat so i said i did cos i really do. i say i cant squeeze anymore or ltr i too bloated. dad got angry. say i nvr eat yet keep sayin stomachache. of course i angry. 1 noe my reply v harsh. i said, 'ok. next time divide into 4. if i can finish i finish. if not i throw my portion.' i don understand cos if dad overeat, he oso stomach pain. y he like tt? of all ppl, he shld understand better... yet...
2 days ago, he said i v free one when mum wanted a photo for her hp wallpaper. d photo in dad's hp. so cant he jus sent it over? mum said i busy but dad keep insistin tt i v free. shoot him back & asked him to study himself. told him i still got many projects, reports, presentation on hand. ytd oso shoot him back when he say me again. say i teach mum to play sudoko but not him. so i shoot him back even fr my rm when he's in d living rm. ask him y he keep sayin me. mum only noe hw to laugh.
w d consecutive blow of attacks within hrs, i really cannot take it. my eyes keep gettin wet & i had to fight back to hold back my tears but dear's comfort only make d tears flow more uncontrollably tt i ran to d bathrm a couple of times. he said, 'dear, don sad sad, boy boy stay w you', 'dear, hw can i make you not so sad?', etc etc...
dear must ve seen my red eyes tt jus aft he left, he sms & asked me not to cry though i didn't cry in front of him. seein d sms, made my tears flow again tt i dash off to d bathrm for a shower cum a cry out session. even go to d last resort to fill up d basin & dip my face into d water. it's amazin hw it help me after a few tries. i calm down more. but dear's worries bout me do make me feel emo again when he asked if i ok & said he worried & said he will stand by me.
since late afternoon, i kanna headache again. at 1st, dad was nappin, so i took d chance to nap s well, when it rained, i closed d window & soon aft dad woke up, i dare not sleep le. & even when i got d headache, i oso nvr dare slp. den they came out w all tt. can they b more reasonable? i can really exhange everything i ve, my phone, etc. i can slp on d hard floor. i jus wan them to b reasonable. m i askin for too much?
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