today i v blur... go trg but nvr bring wallet out so meanin no ez-link card. since no wallet, oso means no $$ so i oso cant go trg... luckily figured out almost half-way to bus stop. if i reached bus-stop alrdy, i think i would give up & go back le. cos i will take at least 10 min to reach bus stop by walkin. jus imagine, walking back hm & den out again. at least 30 mins of walkin + i'll b v late. so sotong of me...
anw, when trg endin, noe tt thr is a concert aka performance in 1st wk of june. actually, last week hear of it but jus noe june. i tot i heard wrong but today, noe tt thr is & it's 1st wk of june & i not in sg. sighed... i really wished i could participate... this might b d last time i performin s a Sunflower dance emsemble gp member cos this is my 5th yr in d gp & usually members only have a lifespan of 5 yrs in d gp.
time passed... i rmbr when i was a greenhorn. tt time i was workin. lesser stress. i really worked hard then & could practice on my own or even draw out d dance steps to rmbr better. but since i go back to sch, i don ve such luxury. i could feel i slackin away but i would always do d best i can for every performance. since i got d uni admission letter, i always treat every performance i got s d last cos by right d gp is meant for workin young women. but i always regret not able to put in more effort for all performances i was given d opportunities to participate.
my last performance was also ages ago. it was in nov 2008, days aft my exams. last yr i got an opportunities but i give up due to tight exam schedule. this time, i had to give up again due to my trip. i noe i may not b able to put in effort till aft may but aft tt, i shld b able to. if aft tt, i'm unsure. cos usually graduation is durin d gp anniversay which is in sep. & durin aug till sep, my sch would start alrdy so even if thr is project, i duno if i could take. sighed...
anw, i do think if thr is possibility to extend in d gp like some seniors... but if i'm given d opportunities, i don think i may cont'd. for a couple of reasons... esp my right hip's ligament injury & my last lap of my studies. i noe i will feel sad to leave but tt's part & parcels of life. tt's y i really wish i could perform s a big gp s all shld b involved in d june concert but i cant.
thr is really nothin much i can do bout tt anw, since d trip was booked b4 i noe of such performance. d only thing tt it can give me is to rest my hip & not over exertin it & to put more focus on my upcomin exams...
talkin bout my leg, i seriously shld find a day go see doc le. i really cant twist & turn it & to sweep it from down to up to side den back & down. it oso got no strength. i cant jump much. my back oso feel like being pulled & tightened. my chief said mayb i need physiotherapy. i not sure but cant eliminate d possibility.
mayb i shld go to my GP but i duno when his workin day cos some other locum seemed to jus hear u say say & cant advice much one... but i cant possible ask mum of his schedule. didn't want her to worry cos my hip not to d extend of hinderin my usual tasks. all i need is a gd advice to noe what is exactly wrong w my leg & wat i can do to make it better & not make it worst. wonder if tml nite or tue mornin is d doc... mayb call up d clinic tml mornin ba. can only hope no need go see specialist or do physio ba.
i was a sufferer of injury due to exercise & dear oso had history of sprained ankles & today, he went for a soccer session & he said his ankles still weak & almost sprain it again. i can fully understand & can only keep 'nagged' at him to be careful. sry if i'd been naggy cos i really suffered all these years esp since i decided to join d dance gp. thr had been long period of times tt i cant even stand upright & walk properly. for this i'm scare. i'm scare i cant walk in future.
yet, i noe i shld not do so but due to this injury, i'd been takin stronger pain killer & pushed myself to d max durin actual day of performances. this is so tt i can really do my best but i puttin myself in d risk of irreverisble injuries. i'm glad i made it thru so far.
i only hope i'd not been overstrainin other parts to try avoid injuring d actual part durin normal trg oso. cos nw, i can really feel even my right lower back suffer durin trg or when i walk too fast. so i dare not push myself further nw. but if i'd been in d comin performance, i wld push on again cos i oso wont wanna drag d whole gp down. so i guess it can be a blessin for me to avoid d concert. but avoidin this way is not a right mtd. i must find out d root of d cause. so no matter wat, i think i shld really visit my GP.
anw, i oso always advice my friends in d gp to really take care of themselves cos i noe hw bad it can be & hw it can hinder their 'growth' in d gp. i don wan other ppl to suffer like me. esp when my pain receptors is really over-reactive cos i seemed to b able to feel other ppl's pain on myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment